Hello elizamel

I'm so sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis. Understandably it's a difficult time for you both but also because you have been through this before I can imagine that it's even more distressing. 

I'd encourage you to talk to your partner about how you're feeling. I'm sure that he would want to support you and you may find that you are both sharing some of the same thoughts and emotions at the moment. 

You might also want to have a think about talking to one of our team of nurses. I'm sure that they would be able to offer you some support. If you'd like to chat with them at any point then please do give them a call on 0808 800 4040 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm). 

Keep in touch here. We have a number of members who have partners with a terminal diagnosis and I'm sure they will pop by to offer their support when they see your post. l

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi 

I just read your post. That must be so difficult for you. You didn't say how long you've been in the new relationship but the fact you posted here tells that you already care for your partner. Does he have close family members you could talk to about it? Iv had cancer myself and my sister died from cancer couple of years ago. It's a terrible illness fir the person involved and everyone around them. I think you would do an amazing job in supporting your partner as its something you have done before. Let me know how you get on. Take care x

Hello Trixie, thank you for the message, very kind of you to reply.  Paul and I have only known each other since October and not even seen each other very often but there is a very strong connection and understanding.  He was devastated when he told me because we had been hoping for so much and he knew how painful it would be for me.  I couldnt' believe fate or God could be so cruel to both of us, having found each other after so many difficulties and traumas.  Then I began to realise that we had met for a purpose, and indeed that was what I thought about my late partner,  Stephen, and that even that experience, of sharing the last part of the journey with him, was, as you suggest, preparation for this.  At this moment, we do not know what Paul's primary cancer is, as they just did a biopsy on the liver, where the secondary is, so we do not know how long he has or what the treatment could be.  If he has long enough, we would like to do a road trip, some camping, hang out in his coastal town.  Who knows at this point...I did tell him yesterday that although it does not seem like it now, there will be happiness this year, whether he finds it, makes it or opens his heart to it.  In the same spirit I wish you a Happy New Year, and that you find moments of strength, joy and peace to sustain you on your journey. Love, Eliza

Hi Jenn 

Thank you for your very kind reply - unfortunately I got Covid just before Christmas and am just catching up with everything.  I will certainly contact the nurses quite soon.  I am already feeling stronger as Paul has made it clearer that he wants me around - for me, not because he has cancer and I feel we are working towards finding a way to live with it.  ALl the best for the new year.

Eliza

Hi 

I'm not sure if this will help but there's a beautiful poem called Life is like a train ride, by John A Passaro, have a read of it, its helped me in the past. X