Hello Hannah_17

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandad's recent diagnosis and that you weren't able to visit him for a while. I imagine that it must have been hard for you all. 

It sounds as if your Grandad has deteriorated quite quickly and I do hope that your Auntie and Grandma have plenty of professional support if needed. 

We have some information on our website here about what may happen in someone's final days and it may help to answer some of your questions. Do speak to the team responsible for your Grandad's care if you or the family have any concerns. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

hello 

firstly im sorry you and your family are going through this, i lost my dad to lung cancer in 2018, he also did some very strange things, was chatting to people we couldnt see and kept picking at his covers at what i do not know, we used to just agree with him and say hello to the people he was seeing because we didnt want to upset him by saying we couldnt see them as this would have confused and upset him, my dad was only 69 when he passed, he wasnt eating or drinking near the end and slept alot.. the only thing im thankful for is i believe a blood clot made him pass in his sleep, on his last doctors visit i asked the doctor to check his leg as it was swollen, i asked if it could be a clot she said yes and that might be a blessing, 2 days later he passed in his sleep with a smile on his face, so we didnt have to listen to the "rattle" we didnt have to sit and watch him go ... all i can advise is look online for signs of end of life, i found this useful, i was looking for mottling all the time and hace a mental check list of what to expect but everyones death is different... so not all show the same signs but i took comfort in knowing what could happen so i was prepared as i was dads main carer 

thinking of you at this horrendous time 

L x 

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. My Mum too (aged 69) was diganosed with stage 4 lung cancer a few months ago. She struggled with appetite but we got her Ensure Plus and Fortisip so she could gain weight. With love and care she has put on 2 stone (6.5 to 8.5 in 2 months) and even though she was sent to hospital with an infection and was subsequently sent home with 8 weeks to live, she improved and is now receiving palliative chemo which may give her more time. I am not saying this will be the case for everyone but there are certain things worth trying. Speak to your Oncologist and get a Dietician to see him if possible, it can help with appetite and they will prescribe the above products (can be found on Amazon if not - basically high calorie / protein drinks). It is also surprising what hope can bring. I send you all my love and hope for your Grandad, there may be some options for him so worth looking in to xx

Hi,

Thank you for your lovely message, it's given me a lot of hope! He has gone into hospital today due to blood results coming back showing he is severely dehydrated, anemic and has a low white blood cell count. We contacted his GP and lung specialist and both advised that it is most likely an infection, so he has had antibiotics prescribed as well Ensure which he seems to enjoy a lot more than food (taking it very slowly as he's stubborn as a mule when he doesn't like the taste of something!)

Our main concern now is his mental state, he is very much a social person and consistent interaction is keeping him going right now, with hospitals and the covid situation now he will not receive that as we are unable to visit which of course we understand as difficult as it is.

We are remaining hopeful and as optimistic as possible, the diagnosis was a shock but we have definitely not written him off yet, we take it more hour by hour than day by day with him right now.

Again, thank you for your message as it was the most optimistic thing we have heard in a while, and hopefully his situation is similar.

Sending my love also to you and your family during this time, and wishing your Mum all the best xx

Hello,

Want to start first of all saying I am terribly sorry to hear about your Dad, I have experienced cancer in 4 family members now and understand how it feels to go through the loss.

Thank you so much for your advice, myself and my Mum have read up on the signs of the end stages so we are as prepared as we can possibly be for that outcome, my Grandma however is, understandably, incredibly distressed and upset at the thought of losing her life partner and best friend of 58 years so has not fully come to terms with the idea that he could be nearing the end.

He was diagnosed with an infection of the chest and has been prescribed antibiotics, so hopefully these symptoms are to do with this rather than final days, but we are remaining prepared mentally for this to be the case.

He is currently in hospital receiving fluids due to being extremely dehydrated and everyone is very concerned that we cannot visit due to Covid, he has already received a Track and Trace message from the hospital after his last stay in and this has been stressful, despite knowing wholeheartedly that he is in the best place he can be for now.

Thank you again for your advice, myself and my family appreciate any message we receive and I am sending you and yours love and thoughts after your Dad's passing xx

Hi Jenn,

Thank you for responding.

The advice given was very helpful as we now know what to expect and prepare for as much as anyone can be ready for.