Brother wont let family help

My 64 year old brother lives alone and in the final stages of cancer. He is very weak, thin, not eating and on oral morphine. He has always been a very private person and does not want me and our mom to help care for him.  He has friends popping in but has stated he does not want to go into a hospice.  I am so worried about him being in a position where he cannot get out of bed and there is no one to help. The district nurse is due to visit this week. I feel so helpless and sad.

  • I'm really sorry to read about your brother Poppit. This must be very difficult for you and your mom.

    Caring for someone in the late stages of cancer can be very tough and the choice he's made might actually be his way of protecting you both from what's to come. If this is the case, try not to take it personally. The best thing you can do at the moment is respect his decision but let him know that if he changes his mind that you will both be there for him.

    Hopefully some of our members will share their thoughts and experiences with you soon but if you'd like to talk things through with one of our cancer nurses they're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    You may find it helpful to get in touch with Marie Curie as well as they provide information and support for people living with a terminal illness, including their families.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator