Hello,
I've been lurking the forums tonight, followed a beautiful thread between two young women going through the same experience; and wondered if there is anyone out there who could hold my hand?
On Nov 26th my dad collapsed at work with a suspected stroke and was rushed to hospital.
Passed all cognitive tests, was treated for an abscess in his tooth on IV antibiotics and steroids. they said it could have been the infection raging affecting serious nerves in the face or travelled to the brain and he was lucky.
Offered MRI that day which I later found out he refused. I think he knew if he got in that machine his life would change forever.
Fast forward to the next day they said they couldn't discharge him without MRI. Due to covid he had to go all by himself; they found secondary brain cancers, could not determine primary, and told him so.
I called my stepmother to see how he had gotten on and she said it's not good news. I went up to see her and she told be secondary brain cancer - which I immediately understood was not good.
The day after that they did a second MRI and found oesophageal, stomach and liver cancers.
He then had biopsies (camera down throat job) from his abdominal stuff.
They let him out soon afterwards and I saw him the next day. He told me not to worry it's been caught early! (I think not) and that he was too busy to sit around watching Christmas movies, don't fuss me I will see you at the weekend as usual. He basically threw me out in the kindest possible way.
He seems to think he is going back to work on 14th December and had organised a driver at work to take him pootling up and down the country where he works in heavy switchgear as an electrical engineer. I fear for the substations - if there's rolling blackouts we know why.
I'm just finding it all very bizarre. He is carrying on regardless, I'm not expecting him to sit around and mope and wait to die but some acknowledgement that I'm not an idiot, I love him and I'm concerned would help.
I have 2 siblings who are in their 20s and naive.
I'm so confused by his reaction and the reaction of my step mother who just constantly blames him for making poor lifestyle choices - bad diet, drinks too much at the weekends doesn't look after himself.
If you made it this far hello!
Has anyone else come across a reaction like this from a parent newly diagnosed?
Would love to hear from you
Gem x
