Hi all, probs a bit of along post/rant

My Dad got diagnosed with Skin cancer after he found a large lump growing from the side of his foot. Fast forward to late October where he got the news that no treatment could be done and the cancer is incurable. At this point it had spread from his foot, to his stomach and his lungs. He lives on his on in Scotland, I am based in south of England and my sister stuck in Austrailia due to Covid

At that point he was given a prognosis of a few weeks. After a very emotional discussion my partner and I decide to rush up the 8 hour drive to my Dad's as the suspected few weeks was about up. Packed very few things as expected we wouldn't be in Scotland long due to the phonecalls we have been getting of how bad my Dad was.

A month later I am typing this now very frustrated. Hospice nurse phones once a week, my Dad has district nurses in 3 times a week to change the dressing on his foot where his tumor is but no prognosis in site.

Asked hospice nurse about how long my Dad has and she says she cannot say. Frustrating for all the family but especially my Dad as he was all ready to die at peace with himself and for me my Dad died several weeks ago and I have already grieved for him it feels like.

My Dad has the hospital bed in the living room where he doesn't sleep at night because he spends the majority of his day sleeping on the sofa. He is popping nearly 20 pills a day with all the antibiotics, morphine, painkillers and anxiety tablets that he takes.

I am getting worried that as time goes on that the doctors had got the prognosis very, very wrong. He is still mobile though wobbly and gets out of breath going from living room to toilet (unsure if due to cancer, the fact he smokes 40 cigs a day or his COPD). Still eats and drinks as he normally does so pretty much how he has been for the rest of the year.

I am mainly worried about my partner and I's sanity. We are still working from home (in my old childhood room with him on a desk I had at uni and me on my single bed). They have been great saying to take time off when I need to but if I dodn't have my work to distract me, I think I would go insane! My Dad's smoking is now really getting to us as we are not smokers and starting to feel ill from it. I am getting sleep at night but just waking up mentally exhausted and the things we would normally do for relaxtion we don't have with us because we were told it was only a few weeks!

Apologies for the long post, just feel like I really needed to rant as my poor partner has been getting the brunt of everything. May end up posting more to get my feelings out.

Thank you for your time, hopef you are all coping okay <3