I really don’t know what to do...

So my 62 yo father has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which has spread to his liver. He was admitted last week with hypercalcemia and has remained confused since. 
 

I lost my Twin brother to skin cancer 5 years ago and I'm not sure I can do this again. 
 

I am alone in dealing with this as my wife has just had a baby and she needs to care for her. 
 

it's taken me so long to deal with my brother that I'm not sure I can go through it all again. 
 

I know his prognosis is poor and we are talking weeks but currently due to COVID I can't visit him. He's to deaf to hear me on the phone. 
 

im exhausted before I start, and I'm stool in an impossible position between focusing on my little girls first Christmas or my fathers last. 
 

I just feel so alone. 
 

  • Hi!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm currently caring for my mother (who is 61years old) at home with AML and a few weeks at most left. The current situation with COVID certainly doesn't make things easy if he is in hospital. Have you explained how you are feeling to the nurses on your father's ward and that your struggling to talk to him? Have they mentioned the possibility of a hospice? Always happy to chat as a welcome distraction from my own position!

     

    It's such a difficult time with Christmas round the corner as well. My current debate is whether I write Christmas cards from my mum to her friends in fear of something happening. A silly thing to mull over!! Just remember there are no right or wrong decisions in this situation. 

  • Hi

    so sorry for your situation. Any chance your father could come home? 
     

    im a single mother of 3, my mother has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I'm still in shock. Lots of crying. Been feeling agitated/angry today. I too feel lost and alone. I have no real answers for you. Tiny steps forward I guess. So hard I 

  • Offline in reply to adl

    My father passed away from cancer 6 years ago when I was 16 and I am a only child.

    I find taking each day at a time and trying not to feel bad or guilty for struggling. It's a horrible thing to go through and we can't be too hard on ourselves!

    Have you got support around you to help?