Over a year ago my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer,

At first they were very positive and confident it could be dealt with but due to her health (copd,weight loss) they decided not to operate and to have radio therapy after 20 sessions she was doing well abit weak and still not great appetite it well. Then upon checking the tumour they noticed something on her breast was sent to see a specialist and have a biopsy and again at first the doctor was like oh simply well cut it out, I had to question this as we had been told by her oncologist she wasn't well enough for operations a week later he rang and said I was right she can't have the operation but not to worry, then we got the appointment where they told us it isn't breast cancer but rather the lung cancer spreading and nothing more could be done. I could see my mums eyes filling up with tears but she quickly stopped herself and o tried so hard not to cry infront of her but once home I collapsed in heap like a big child and cried for what felt like days. Anyway fast forward a few months and she's getting worse everyday I'm so scared of finding her not alive I go in her home and wait to hear her cough or move before entering the room, she had a very bad fall the other night her forehead is one big bruise and she spent the night on the floor cold, she didn't ring or text and I told her I wanted to move in but she wownt allow it cause I'm 6 months pregnant and have a 7 year old and a family but all I want to do is be there for her. She becoming more vacant I guess is the word, stares off Into a corner not interested in her usual hobbies  and has started hallucinating she keeps thinking my daughter is in the room or I'm there when I'm not and has conversations with us even tho nobody is there I'm so scared selfishly I don't want to lose my mum but know it's inevitable I just want to be there for her and help her I have no idea how long she has as we didn't ask but I can see her declining and it breaks my heart I hate leaving her alone and constantly worry about her when I'm not there, I feel torn between being with my husband and daughter and her and it's just so hard to know what to do or say for the best when I am there most of the time it's like we pretend it's not happening it's all just so very sad. Anyway sorry for essay I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of things I could get or do to make her more comfortable when I'm not there as she will not allow me to move in, my husband has even said he would but she doesn't want my daughter seeing her so poorly and having memories of her like this which I do understand but it makes me feel like I'm not caring for her properly. This week had been really rough finding her on the floor and watching her stare off into space wondering what she is thinking her barely being able to eat or drink it feels like everything is changing and fast I prettified of her suffering or struggling to breath she had recently been put on oromorphe but it doesn't seem to be helping her breathing much I'll get her onto the toilet and she can't breath and starts to panick which makes it more difficult to breath. Cancer is evil it takes so many loved ones away far to early I thought I'd have my mum another 20 years atleast now I genuinely don't know if she'll make 2021 and I'm to scared to ask the palliative nurse when she comes again .

again sorry for essay just needed to get it off my chest I suppose sending love to everyone