Hi All
My Dad was admitted to hospiral via A&E almost 2 weeks ago, and they found a lesion on his brain. Im his next of kin, he has been in hospital the entire time with no visitors allowed. Ive telephoned the ward each day to ask how he is doing and get the same response 'he's still here'. My Dad is extremely confused and cannot tell me anything. Half way through his stay, I was unable to contact the ward or his own mobile, eventually he managed to call me back. I was awaiting a call from his ward from the previous day, to tell me what the neurosurgeons were planning, the Charge Nurse promised me faithfully that I would be contacted the minute there was any news. I managed to piece together from what my Dad had said, that he had been moved to a different ward but he actually thought he was in a different hospital. I then had to contact the hospital switchboard to try and find him. He had been moved the night before, but nobody had bothered to let me know. I spoke to the ward and I was again promised a call back from the Charge Nurse once they had washed their hands. It was over an hour before I had a call, in the meantime I had contacted PALS as I wasnt happy with everything that had gone on. The nurse who called me back said they hadnt called sooner as they were 'very busy'.
Fast forward to yesterday, we saw the Consultant, my Dad's cancer is inoperable, he will be having chemo and radio therapy, but due to his short term memory problems, he shouldnt be discharged to home as he lives alone. The consultant said he would be better in a community hospital, or he was even willing to accept him onto his ward.
Today, the OT phoned me. They had been to assess my Dad. I wasnt aware they were going to do this, and I had just returned from the hospital where I had been to deliver food and clothes for him and it wasnt mentioned. She told me my Dad was being discharged, he was being sent home. I said I thought he was at least going to the community hospital but she said they felt he was 'too good' for that. She told me about a package with safety alarms if he left the oven on etc, and gave me a phone number to arrange that (at a cost to ourselves) and advised that he could arrange for meal deliveries in answer to my concerns about him being alone. Unfortunately, we have been in this position before with my mum, and we know that all the promises of assistance disappear once they arrive home. Basically, because my Dad was able to tell her what day it is and the date, he has been deemed fit to make a decision and fit to be released, despite the fact that he cannot remember how ill he is, what he has wrong with him and thinks he can still drive.
I called my husband who told me to get back on to them as the Consultant had said he shouldnt be at home. I rang the telephone number she had given me and it didnt exist, she had given me an incorrect dial code, so not a great start! When I finally managed to locate her, she was having none of it and eventually said she would get the doctor to ring me. A little later, a nurse on my Dads ward rang me and asked me 'whats your problem with your Dad coming home?'. I explained all my concerns and told her what the Consultant told me yesterday, she said they would never admit a patient to the Cancer unit, 'it doesnt work like that!' She said it was important for my Dads mental health (despite he will be on his own all day long, as opposed to being with other people on a ward) and more risk of infection in hospital, although I explained that I, my husband and my son all work and mix with many people and will be potentially putting him at greater risk.
Ive had to agree to them letting him home - My Dad cannot get into my car so I said my husband will collect him on his way home from work at about 7pm, they are so keen to get him out of there they offered to arrange an ambulance. I need time to go an get supplies and put his heating on etc.
Im sorry this is such a long post, we found out my Dads diagnosis yesterday and today we are dealing with the worry of him being home alone whilst potentially being ill from his treatment etc.
Im at my wits end and feel the hospital havent kept me informed about anything, its all the more frustrating when you cannot visit so cannot speak to staff.
Ive gone from feeling so supported by the Cancer unit yesterday, to being spoken to like an obstructive annoying daughter today, I just want what is best for my Dad and already feel useless.
