not being told

All we got was a phone call from a MacMillan supporter, just to say Carol my wife was being given a palliative nurse, and that was the basis of the phone call. not knowing what a palliative nurse is, or does. I googled it. and was dumb founded when I read it was a nurse who manages pain relief for end of life patients. As it was the height of the covid19, the hospital was in lockdown. A no visitors rule imposed. Took a week for them to get my wife comfortable enough to take her for MRI scan. That revealed she had broken her thigh in two places and her hip had been dislodged from her hip joint. she did suffer from brittle bones, but this happened just because she tried to push herself up the bed to sit up on her pillows. I was Carols full time carer. Carol slept down stairs. reason for her hip being dislodged was due to an aggressive cancer which had grown so large. Before this my wife was told a year earlier she had cancer nodules on her chest, so they concentrated on keeping an eye on them. In the mean time I suppose I was guilty of not telling my wife I had been diagnosed of having a malignant liver cancer that was in May. I have since had two procedures one when my wife was alive the second was after she had died. I just could not put that extra burden on her shoulders. and I am happy I made that decision not to tell her. She knew about the other health issues I had, cirrhosis of the liver, insulin injections because I am diabetic type2.
  • Dear Blobs,

     

    I am so sorry, I have only just read your above post. Can't imagine the stresses you have been going through. 

     

    I hate it when people have said to me in the past 'life happens'. I certainly does not help. Without sounding patronising please look after yourself. The mental and physical stressess are not always visible or apparent to others or even ourselves soemtimes. Even if they are to others they don't always have an understanding of how to deal and even if they/or we need them to be dealt with. When we go through these ourselves we can try and process them beter but we need to give ourselves enough space to all tell ourselves this is normal, especially as in your case, with the magnitude of what you have been going through.  

     

    Once again, please do take care.