My amazing wonderful 75 year old father has been diagnosed with late stage lung cancer this week. We had no idea; it is like a train exploded in our hearts. I cannot breath, eat, think. I love him so much. He is in hospital and they delivered a bed to my parents home for him to go back to for palliative care; this is so unreal. My poor mum was there alone when it arrived. He is desperately ill.

Dad survived a heart valve transplant 4 years ago, encephalitis 3 years ago, and stage 1 malanomas last year. He and my mum thought they were going to get more time together. They have been together for 55 years and never loved anyone else. She is devastated, we are all utterly devastated.

He nearly died in passed years, but the power of hope protected us for the agony of this. We are not ready and we want him with us.

I do not know how to deal with the pain and fear. I cannot imagine getting through this or a world without him. He is my best friend. 

If you have any advice for me and for looking after mum, I would be so grateful.