Overwhelmed

Hi everyone,

 

I'm posting today because my sister has been for an ultrasound and mammogram and has been told they've found a large lump, separate to the one she was initially being scanned for. They've taken biopsies from both lumps but now she has to wait for the results to come back and the consultant has advised she doesn't know which way the results will come back. This is obviously quite stressful and upsetting as shes only in her 30s and has a young child. 

 

I'm finding this quite overwhelming as my dad is currently going through chemotherapy and radiotherapy for throat cancer. He has his final chemo session tomorrow and radiotherapy through to next Wednesday. He's really suffering at the minute with mouth sores and has drastically lost weight during the treatment. I'm scared they're going to say that he'll need more treatment and I'm scared he's not going to be physically strong enough 

 

I can't see either my dad or my sister at the minute as I live in completely different locations to both of them and am unable to isolate due to work commitments. I'm also struggling with talking to my dad about his cancer unless it's in a practical sense of "when's the next treatment?" or "what has the consultant said about xyz?". I find it hard to talk to him over the phone without getting upset which then upsets him but I feel guilty for not speaking to him and only messaging him

 

It's just all getting a bit too much for me at the moment and I didn't really know where else to turn to. If anyone has any advice on how to cope, I'd really appreciate it!

 

Thank you

  • Hello LF95

    I'm sorry to hear about your sister and your Dad. It's not surprising given everything that you've described that you're feeling overwhelmed by things. 

    I know you say you find it difficult to talk to your Dad on the phone about things but I wonder if you might give our team of nurses a call. I'm sure that they will be able to offer you some advice and support and you may find it easier to talk to your Dad or sister once you've expressed things in a safe space elsewhere. 
    If you'd like to talk things through with them then please do give them a call on 0808 800 4040 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm). 

    In terms of your sisters situation, try to keep in mind that the majority of women who attend breast clinic with a lump(s) don't go on to be diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm sure she won't have to wait too long for the results and hopefully the Consultant will be able to offer her some reassurance. 

    I hope that now your Dad is coming to the end of his treatment he'll slowly start to gain strength again. I know we've had quite a few members here on the forum who have successfully been through treatment for throat cancer and lots of them have said just how hard it can be. Hopefully there will be some good news for your Dad as well. 

    We had a section on our website about coping emotionally with cancer that is aimed at patients but much of it is appropriate for loved ones too. I'd suggest having a look through for some practical advice on coping. 

    I know things are difficult at the moment and you're welcome to post here on the forum any time if it helps to share things. I'm sure that the community will do their best to offer some support and advice. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator