Hello BuddyK

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like it's an incredibly difficult time for you and I can understand why you're feeling angry and in despair

It sounds as if you have a lot on your plate between caring for your husband and looking after your children. Do you have any support in place? 
It can be great having friends and family to support you through difficult times but sometimes having an external source of support can be very valuable as well. 
If you'd like to have a chat with one of our nurses you're most welcome to give them a call. They're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. You might also want to consider getting in touch with Al-Anon. They have support available for people who are affected by someone else's drinking and I'm sure that you would be able to connect with someone who has been in similar circumstances to you. If you've not spoken to your GP then you could also conisder chatting to them to see what support may be available locally for you and the children. 

In terms of your husband I can understand why you're frustrated at his response. You are right when you say that he is the only one who can change his behaviours. I'm unsure if you're able to attned hospital appointments with him at the moment but if you are then I wonder if you'd feel comfortable mentioning your query around his treatment options and his pain management at the next appointment. It may be that they are able to offer you some reassurance around treatment and perhaps discuss other pain management options with your husband. 

I do hope that this helps a little and that you're able to find some support through this. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator