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Advice

Jackc
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Hi I'm new to the site, im 26 years old and found out in July my father's throat cancer has returned and spread to his lungs he was admitted to hospital due to dehydration and stayed in for 6 weeks, when he came out 12 days later we went for his pre assessment to see if he could have chemotherapy they found his bloods stats were low so they placed him on fluids in the chemotherapy lounge where he went on to have a heart attacked not knowing what was going on a nurse admitted him again and we were rushed to a&e three weeks later he is back at home he has careers going into him daily, he sleeps a lot but he tries to fight it. 
we were told that there is no treatment available. 
 

I approached my HR department about possibly cutting my hours down by a few hours a day so I could spend more time with my dad while I can but the response was that the position I am in is full time and can't be changed. 
 

as I'm only 26 I don't have savings to be able to stop working 
 

im stuck in a really hard place at the moment I do all my dads hospital appointments, deal with all telephone conversations as he can not talk anymore. 
 

I want to spend as much time with my dad and be there for him but I can't because of work.

 

 

 

what should I do? 
 

 

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    Hi jackc

     

    Sorry that you're in this position. 

    What a situation you are in! How insensitive of your employers. If I were you I would get a docs appointment and sign yourself off work with stress.

     

    I've just lost my mum and luckily I was able to take sick leave and holidays and then compassionate leave and I am so glad I took that time to care for her and be with her.

     

    If you have any concerns at all look on the acas website for advice. 

     

    X 

  • Offline in reply to Pickyonion

    I have spoken to my GP I'm now on sick leave, spoke to Acas they said any decision made from here would be at my employers discretion. I informed my employer this morning that I am going on sick leave with the reasons why so he's told me occupational health will be in touch with me. 
     

    I feel like I'm going lose my job 

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Jackc

    Hi Jackc, 

     

    I'm glad that you have taken sick leave and approached acas. 

    You have legal rights for taking time off for dependents and I think they would have a hard time bending the rules to sack you for taking sick leave. 

     

    I know it's hard but try and push work to the back of your mind for now, you have sick leave at the minute spend this time with your dad. 

     

    I was panicky about my job at first and then I thought these people would replace me in a flash my main priority right now is my mum and try and feel reassured that there are laws in place to protect you. 

     

    Is your dad having macmillan nurses?

    Mum didn't as referral was too slow but I do know they are meant to be really helpful with finances and support not just for your dad but family as well. 

     

    Maybe you could approach them for some reassurance and advice?

    Or check out

    www.gov.uk/taking-time-off-for-dependents.

     

    X 

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