Cancer Research UK main site

Staying mentally healthy when a parent has cancer

Fullofjoy123
Offline

Hi Everyone

My mum was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer in March 2019. She underwent two operations to remove the tumour and ovaries, and underwent chemotherapy. She was given the all clear in June 2020, however we found out last week that the cancer has returned and spread and needs to now undergo more intense chemo for the next 5 months. 

Last year, I was an absolute mess if I am honest. I didn't look after myself. My family fell apart bit by bit. The effect it had on me put me in a very bad mental state where I couldn't work and never socialised. 

I want to be the best carer for my mum, while also being able to work hard and look after myself and retain some sanity through the next stage. 

I was just wondering if anyone had any good advice of how to  give the person suffering the support they need, while also making sure you can look after yourself?

thanks 

  • Offline

    Hi there, 

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mums diagnosis, seeing a parent go through this disease is heartbreaking.

    My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in January 2018. She had chemo pretty much for a solid 18 months with only a max of 6 week break in between. We lost her in January this year. 

    What kept me going throughout the whole experience was my Mums bravery. She always smiled and saw the positive in everything. 

    There were real tough times, myself and my Dad were her main carers and we both broke down several times, and found Mum comforting us! She was so strong!

    I have 3 boys so they kept me busy and occupied. But if you can, try something to take your mind off things, if only for half an hour. Read a book, walk, listen to feel good songs, anything to lift your mood and create positivity. Then try and share this positivity with your Mum, try and laugh, be silly, anything to release yourself from the strain, even for a few minutes. How is your Mum coping? 

    I am trying to capture my Mums spirit as I await biopsy results of a breast lesion, results tomorrow and I am pining for my Mum. But I must draw on her strength and keep positive.

    Take care, 

    Rachael

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.