Hi all, 

My dad is - and always has been - the number one person in my life. He's my dad and my friend. In March he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, but this progressively and quickly moved through his bones. We were told under two weeks ago now that he is terminal and has under 12 months to live. The news has destroyed me. He is still so young and I never thought this would happen when I thought I had years and years to go yet with him being in my life. He hasn't even managed to experience the joy of seeing his children get married or have grandchildren.

I am aware that "under 12 months" could potentially vary from any time up until a year (if we're lucky). I want to make this the most meaningful and best time for him possible.

The issue is I live in Scotland and my dad lives in England. I work full time in a very busy and stressful job. I have asked my employer for condensed hours so I will have a Monday as a non-working day, but I don't think this is looking hopeful.

My dad is so unwell. He can hardly move or walk the distance of himself. He is now also on morphine which is making him spaced out and not able to enjoy the company of his family and what is going on around him, which isn't like him at all as he is a care-free, funny and sociable man.

I suppose my question is - how do I make the time he has left the most special and meaningful as possible? Especially when I can't be there as often as I would like? And the fact that physically he can't do the things he wants to do.

I want to be there and make him know how much he means to me, and I feel bad that I'm not with him as I feel that time I short. When I have visited him, I've tried to be strong (and save my emotions for when I'm not with him),  spend time with him, have a laugh (his favourite way of dealing with things!), talk to him, do practical things to help. 

I should add that there is not much in the way of support just now. My brother lives wirh him, but he has a diagnosis of Autism so doesn't always understand or can process what is going on or how to emotionally or physically support him (which is not his fault). Its only my dad and brother in the part of England they live. I am in Scotland and our mother is not apart of our lives and will not be in this, as she will make matters worse.

I feel that I'm already doing him a disservice as I can't be there. There must be things I can do for him that makes him feel special and loved, even when I can't always be there. 

Thanks 

L