Hi

my husband was diagnosed with oasophagal cancer October last year , had op to remove half his stomach and oasophagus end of feb .

in may he was diagnosed with secondary bone cancer . His prognosis is 6 to 9 months as he can't have anymore chemo as it put his heart into AF. 
I find We have good days and bad days, we both talk to each other about how we are feeling, we cry , we laugh, and we try to do as much as he is able to do together ( which isn't much now ) I would love to be able to speak to someone who's been through it or going through what we are . Sending you love and hugs x

Hello Cor

I agree it is an awful situation we are in. My husband was also diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in October 2019. It was already in the lymph glands so he couldn't have the operation. He had chemotherapy during which he spent two separate spells in hospital and had ten days radiotherapy in June. He was able to eat small meals very slowly but went downhill a few weeks ago and pretty well stopped eating. He started this journey weighing 76 kilos and is now 61 kilos. He looks like the famine victims they show on tv.

Last week he had a stent fitted to help him eat and drink but he refused to eat and lay in bed all day groaning. He has a morphine patch and takes paracetamol four times a day. He said it was easier to. Lie in bed and fade away! That made me so angry that he wouldn't make his best effort to get a couple more months. Today I lost patience an forced him to get up and sit on the patio in the sunshine. I read a few chapters of his book to him and he actually drank one of his fortisan bottles. We then watched some tv and he ate a yoghurt and a little piece of salmon and mashed potato.  He agreed that he felt better for getting out of bed and eating a bit. Fingers crossed he may continue in this way and build up some energy. His prognosis at the start was 11 to 14 months and we have reached eleven months. Yesterday it looked as if he had a couple of weeks left but now I am hoping for two or three months.

We have talked through our hopes and wishes and cried at the loss of our retirement plans. This kind of cancer means it stops meals out and with family as my husband is embarrassed about the noise he makes.  It is a sad outlook and we don't know what the future holds. 
 

Good luck. I guess we just have to support each other.

Ronnie

Hi Bixter

Coping just seems to play out each day. No easy answer. I think shutting off to what is  leading into what you can do is what I did. 

Making the most of every bit of time. They say you can never get it back. If your husband is up for it get a recording of his voice. 

Just be there dont force him to do anything he doesnt want to allow yourselves time to reflect on it but dont dwell. Enjoy the moments that you can now. This is a bloody horrible thing to get and time is precious to you both. Make memories videos selfies whatever suits.

Take care of yourself as well its easy to get lost in this

Thank  you for replying cor - it's the hardest thing isn't it, we are still in shock, it's like we have been hit with a sledge hammer.

Dalia - we are trying to make memories, I like your suggestion about recording him, he would like that too.

We are being inundated with visits from family, and I know they all want to support us, and I'm grateful,  but I'm finding it really tiring making cups of tea, cake, lunches. I know I'm going to have to tell them no at some stage just so we can both get a rest and try and get back to some normality.