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Coping with my mums lung cancer

lulu1181
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Hi everyone

 

I just wanted a little bit of advice. I've never posted on here before...so here goes....

 

My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in October last year. She has had chemotherapy and immunotherapy.....neither of which have worked. Today she has started radiotherapy for the next 5 days.....but what happens then? Do they do a ct scan to see what's happened? How do you know if its not working....and if it isn't working is that it? Is it then just a case of pain management?

 

My mum hates asking questions so a lot of the time she wont ask the things that I want to ask....and then, because of covid, shes having to attend the appointments alone. She now has a Macmillan nurse....which in my mind means we're getting close to end of life care....am I close to the truth or am I off the mark?? 

 

Any advice is really welcomed.....

 

Thanks

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    Hi Lulu,

    Welcome to our forum, although I'm so sorry to hear the reason that has brought you here. My mum was diagnosed with cancer, which she had for 12 years, before it spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs, so I have some idea of the extent of your concern.

    It is particularly difficult when you cannot accompany your mum to her appointments at present. I am sorry to hear that chemo and immunotherapy didn't work for your mum. I am not a doctor, but it does sound as if radiotherapy might be her last resort. They will usually go a further scan after this to see if it has had any effect.

    Just a thought, but if your mum is willing to give you her permission, you could possibly talk to her consultant over the phone and see what is happening. It is hard enough to deal with this when you know what is going on, but I imagine that it is almost impossible when you don't. You may also find it helpful to have a word with the Macmillan nurse, as she should have a fair idea too.Why not draw up a list of questions to ensure that you don't miss anything important out?

    I am hoping and praying for you both as this is such a difficult and heart breaking time.

    Please keep in touch. Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you Jolamine. We have said we want to speak to the Macmillan nurse, but we wanted to see what happened after this week of treatment. I suppose to give is more of an idea of what we wanted to ask. 

     

    As much as I want to speak to my mum's consultant I don't really want to go over her head...and know more than she does if you see what I mean. Its just a rubbish position to be in all round I suppose. 

     

    I'm glad my mum's got the Macmillan nurse to speak to though, because I think there's things she needs to speak about but things that she would find difficult to speak to us about. And I think it'll help her to be prepared for whats coming. If only we had a magic wand to make everything better and take all of this away x

  • Offline in reply to lulu1181

     

    Hi Lulu.

    You wouldn't really be going over your mum's head, as due to Data Protection, you would need her permission for her consultant to be able to disciss her case with you. You will probably find that it is more helpful to know what to expect as your mum's disease progresses. There is no easy position to be in with this situation. I know that I certainly found it helpful to be prepared for any changes with my own mum.

    I expect that the Macmillan nurse will be a great help to your mum, as she can discuss any worries with her, which she may not want to discuss with her loved ones. How I wish that we had a majic wand to make everything better and take all of this away.

    Please remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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