Hello Everyone,

My dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer in October, during lock down he was very very sick all the time and after a fall was admitted to hospital. We were then told that the Cancer had spread to his brain.

I live 3 and half hours away but have been at my dads for the last 2 and half months to look after him. He had a stroke a long time ago and is unable to walk or talk.

The last week or so has been so hard. I feel like it's a daily fight with the district nurses to get Dad what he needs, to be honest they are pretty terrible which makes me so mad, questioning if he is in pain etc when they come in to give him a stat dose. My dad hates needles and never asks for help so when he is asking for help and a needle then it's clear that he needs it. I feel like I am my dads voice because I know if he could talk he would not put up with how they are being. He has great carers that come in 4 times a day and more if we call them but with all the medication he is on he is still in pain. 
 

He is eating very little and drinking little. Tonight he has been very vacant and just stares when asked a question and then just closes his eyes. I feel like his swollowing is getting worse too. He sleeps 95% of the day and is only awake really when he is in pain. 
 

My dad is a fighter but I just don't know how much longer he can fight this and it breaks my heart.

How do people cope with seeing the person they love die. I just don't know how to keep being positive. It's so draining.

I find myself constantly googling everything. I want to be prepared as much as possible. Some days I think that is it and then others I think he's got ages. It's just so hard to watch. 

Thank you for listening xx