Hi emma 1102,

first congratulations on the birth of your new baby, 

sory about you dad, I just wanted to give you some hope and say my mum was diagnosed 7 years ago with 6-12 months, it was soul destroying, I had just had my son, but she's still fighting it!! She is amazing, and she's out and about spending time with her 7 grandchildren, we were told before Xmas the treatment she was having had stopped working as the cancer had woken up again, started growing, she said put me on something else then! We found out Thursday that the new treatment is working it had gone back to sleep

 when people say to my mum how do you do it,? Her reply is ....it's all in the mind! It doesn't control me, I controls it! 
 

I really hope your dad can be positive, and for you don't dread the future because babs will feel it, make every moment with baby and grandad count, hell see what he has to fight for!! 
any treatment offed take it, trails to, 

prayers for you and family 

Hi 

thank you for your reply.

thats amazing news about your mum I hope the treatments continues to put cancer on a hold.

its very had to cope

I can see my dad deteriorate in front of me as he is very weak!

my dad had cancer 14 years ago in his tonsels and lymph nodes. He received chemo, radio and also operation, he then got the all clear which was amazing!

then 5 years ago it came back in is tongue so had to get 40% of his tongue removed and reconstructed.

Then 3 years ago he had to get his voice box removed and tracheostomy fitted so not his main air way is a whole in his neck and had to have a speaking valve fitted so he can communicate. This was all caused by radio therapy as the scar tissue in is throat was thickening so he could not eat or drink.

now he has cancer at the base of his tongue so the tumour is growing rapidly and is now starting to block again so he can't eat normal food and will more than likely have to get a feeding tube.

its so hard to watch as my dad never smoked or never drunk alcohol he has just been very unlucky! 
it's so hard to watch him deteriorate right in front of my eyes. 

im really struggling mentally I just seem to argue with my partner all the time and I don't want that for my little girl. I am ready to walk away of my relationship but I really don't want my little girl to be in a broken family.   

Hi there ...

I'm so so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... there's no easy way around .. but as someone with cancer , I can only give you my take on it ..

You can't change the past ... you can't change what's happening now ... but you can change the future and how you look at things ... you had years extra from the first cancer your dad had .. lots don't get a second chance ... you did ... he saw you grow from a child to a woman to a mother ... he got to see your baby ... that's what so many never get ... 

Your looking at the whole picture and it's overwhelming... so your not coping .. as heartbraking as it is, we all reach that point sometime ... it's the circle of life ... so what I've done sinse having a grade 3 breast cancer,  is take every day, and make as many memories as I can .. I wake up and if I see the sky I think "yep still here" and I try every day to find at least one thing to make me smile... 

This time with your dad, is to precious to waste a minute ... tell him all what's in your heart .. share tears admit your both scared ... and hold his hand on this journey your dad's on ...

And please don't take it out on your hubby ... he's seeing your heart brake and can do nothing to stop it .. can you imagine how hard that is ... and believe me you will need him later .. or the hard truth is you could be left a single parent ... you can either throw it away or hold on to him gently ... the choice is yours ..

I lost both my parents in my 30s.... mum suddenly from a heart attack and I had no chance to even tell her I was so proud to be her daughter... she was gone in the blink of an eye.... you have what I never had .. what I'd have given for just one day or even one hour ... 

Your mum has you ... your half of your dad, so he will live through you .. see through your eyes ... he'll be around ... trust me .. if this cancer takes me, I've told my son I better not see him sad too long ... I want to hear him laugh .. so go on ... start thinking what you did have ... you were blessed to have had your dad in your life ... yes I wanted more time with my mum and dad ... but I'm greatfull for what I did have .... 

Your both in my thoughts ... sending a vertual hug.... Chrissie x