Hi all, 

Apologies in advance for the essay. 

I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I feel it may help finding people to talk to in a similar position, for help and advice.

My wife is 38 and never normally checks her breasts, however whilst in the shower about 6 weeks ago she noticed a large lump in her right breast. 

She called the gp the following day who referred her. 

About 2 weeks later she had an appointment where she had 4 mammograms, an ultrasound, and a biopsy, the consultant told her she suspects its breast cancer. 

After a week of worry, hoping to be told it was just a cyst or something. We were called back for the results. 

As soon as 3 of them came in, I knew it was bad news, it doesn't take 3 people to tell you everything is OK after all. 

They confirmed it is cancer and they are still waiting on hormone results to come back, she also said she doesn't suspect it has spread (not sure how she can say that when she hasn't had further scans/results) 

Yesterday morning she had a bone scan, and in the afternoon we had an appointment with the oncologist, who told us the hormone results had come back and she has tested Her2 positive.

And that 2 of her lymph nodes have tested positive also.

She has a ct scan on Thursday. 

Still the big questions on my mind are:

Has it spread elsewhere? 

If so how bad? 

Is it cureable?

I understand they can't possibly tell me until the scan results are in but still, right now that's all I want to know.

Every little ache and pain she is getting we are worried it's a sign it has spread, she has a pain in her chest and back. 

I'm hoping it's just anxiety. Have any of you experienced this? Are there any tell tale signs that is has? Or is it just a case or wait and see what the scan results say? 

I asked the oncologist if he could predict a stage at the moment, and he said based on all the facts he has right now he said T2 Grade 3.

(still don't fully understand this) 

He added the lump is 50mm by 48mm

He also asked if she'd had a blood test, which she has, and he brought the results up on his screen. 

He looked at them and said there is nothing flagged up in red on there (which I took as a positive) 

He said something about if it had spread to the bones the calcium would read high and something about ALP?

But he said all of her bloods were normal. 

The things that worry me (but are also kind of a good thing) is how they are now steam rollering everything. 

Literally the day after we have now had dates for covid test, pre assessment, a line being fitted, and chemo starting (21st July) which will be 6 sessions 21 days apart.

Is that something to be concerned about? Are they concerned about something hence why they are steam rollering it all? Or is it just general procedure for this type of cancer?

Are there people on here with this specific type of cancer who can offer any help or advice?

Is it a common type of cancer? Is it a cureable type of cancer? 

She is petrified about all the treatment and especially losing her hair. 

When asked what her initial thoughts were regarding lumpectomy/mastectomy/reconstruction she feels more swayed for a double mastectomy, mainly incase it spreads down the line. 

Luckily her employer has been fantastic. 

She is currently working from home due to covid but they've told her not to worry about work, however I feel it may help her mentally to take her mind of things, and keep her mind active if she does what she can when she feels up to it. Obviously though I don't know how she's likely to feel during chemo. 

Does anyone have any other tips? Excersize? Diets? 

We have 2 young girls, and a really supportive family, she obviously has her up and down moments but I find she's at her best when keeping busy, or we see people, I don't know if it's just a bit of normality and taking her mind off things. I try to be positive but end up scrolling through Google for answers and end up depressing myself. I'd rather hear it from people who are actually going through it right here right now not scientific stuff from 2 years ago in America which is what Google seems to throw up lol. 

Thanks for reading, I'm hoping I can meet people in a similar situation but I can honestly say I empathise with every single one of you going through this horrible disease and I hope you are all coping as best you can x