Hello katherine23, 

Welcome to Cancer Chat though I am sorry to hear about your dad. It must be such a shock for you and your family. Regarding his prognosis, perhaps your family could get in touch with the consultant and ask what the best thing to do would be? It is a very personal decision but your dad's medical team may have some good suggestions for you. You can also talk things through with our nurses by ringing the free nurse helpline 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm.

I thought I would also share this page with you from our website which is specifically designed for the friends, caregivers and family of cancer patients. It contains a section on looking after yourself when you are looking after a loved one which I thought would be appropriate for your mum and it will give you some good tips on how to get support for your mum during this difficult time. 

We're thinking of you, your mum and your family and hope that your dad's chemotherapy session goes well.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Sorry for your horrible news. We had a similar situation with my father in law. He kept being knocked back for an X-ray after complaining about a bad back for months. Eventually he was referred to physio and sent home with a sheet of exercises. Finally one day he couldn’t get out of bed and we had to arrange for an ambulance. It turned out he had a broken bone in his neck caused by lung cancer which had spread to his bone, brain and adrenal glands. He received one dose of radiation and was sent home with palliative care. We told Jim his condition but because the cancer was in his brain, towards the end when it and caused quite bad confusion he didn’t even realise he had it. I guess the important thing is to make sure he is free of pain. That was the one thing he feared the most- being in pain.

 Make sure you have a district nurse in place and a hospice team who can come to the house. I can’t lie, it can be traumatic, you really have to prepare for it but the medication now is so much more advanced to deal with symptoms. 

Hi there

what a horrible time for your father and you. My father in law Jims pain was in his neck and across his shoulder blades but his cancer was very advanced and he was only offered palliative care. His lung cancer was too far gone to be treated. He was given Morphine tablets to start and eventually progressed to extra in liquid form and injections. He didn’t spend much time in pain atall until the last few days where morphine was injected directly.  You should ask for a second opinion, I don’t know what’s going on there but he shouldn’t be left in pain.  Has he had a full body scan? Jim suffered a fever but it was caused by a urine infection. It was brought under control with antibiotics. I wish there was more I could tell you but every cancer is different and the pain could be unrelated but keep fighting for him. Keep us up to date