I'm so sorry your going through this . My mums 72, terminal ovarian that's spread to her lung . She's just gone into the hospice . It's very very difficult , it makes you feel so helpless doesn't it . I contacted the district nurses & Macmillan when we saw she was struggling me & my sister have looked after her for 6 months . Contact McMillan , if you haven't already get some advice . Maybe a hospice at home could help her .. I'm not sure what you already have it place . Sending you love & support xx

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry about your mum. Hope you are able to see her a lot. 

My mother in law hasn't decided yet if she would like to go to the hospice, or continue her care at home. Can you shine some light for me on that, do I have to book a place in advance for her? 

We are in contact with McMillan cancer support but is just over the phone. She is still able to have a shower and eat her meals. She is just sleeping all day and night, occasionally watch tv, not have enough energy or motivation to do anything. Is hard to watch her like that. She was working up to her diagnosis back in March. She was very independent, I think she is struggling with accepting that she can not do things by her own any more. 

My mum is exactly the same , feircly independent . But with time she started to accept more help and realised it was all for her quality of life . 
I contacted the district nurses myself and told them that we were sick of seeing mum in and out of hospital , she was always doing great for a couple of weeks , then the nausea would come and she'd stop eating and start missing meds because she  felt so sick . Then we'd go through ringing emergency docs out and and waiting hours for visits , the district nurses started a care plan and started to access her to see if the hospice at home or a stay at the actual hospice would help . They decided to get her a bed there and they told her it would just to get her strength up and back on her feet . So she agreed . And she has been there nearly two weeks now and she is very happy with the care she's received . She's eating well , her pain and sickness is under control and they're thinking of her coming home and starting her radiation , if we start to struggle again they will assess her again and if she needs the hospice support again she can go back . The word hospice terrifies me , when she went in a crumbled to pieces but once I visited , even though I was sat in full ppe and I was boiling hot , it was Worth it as she had a smile on her face , I got to see how caring the staff are , they really go out of their way to look after all the patients . The hospice itself is a lovely place it really put my mind at rest visiting and we face time a lot to . She feels stronger now and supported by the fact that she knows of it gets tough again they will be there for her . 
so you will need a district nurse or doctor referral I think & your mother in law will have to agree also I think . Good luck with whatever you decide . 
thinking of you x

Hi

I am glad your mum was happy there. Is really hard seeing loved ones going through hell. 

My mother in law still refuses help. I have slowly organised shower seat and trolley for her to help her stay mobile around the house. She hasn't used it yet and took a fall yesterday. I am in contact with local council to get carers for her but she is refusing anybody coming in to her house and help her. I am loosing my mind every night to try fall asleep and wander if she is comfortable in her bed or sleeping on the couch cause bed is too far away. 

She is getting weaker every day now. Unlike your mum she will not receive any treatment for her cancer. I think this has broken her and us too. 

I wish you a lot of patience and love.