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Outlived prognosis at 90 years of age

Bubbles5star
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Hi everyone. I really feel alone and somewhat confused so here i am. I very much appreciate any replies in advance.

A close friend of mine an elderly gentleman who is 90 years of age. He was diagnosed with thymus gland cancer stage 4 back late October.

We werent told his prognosis just that no treatment could be given due to the stage his age and other health issues.

Not long infact more or less straight away the hospice were calling him and he had to have the just in case kit at his house.

He has and still is in denial doesnt think he has this cruel illness. I have recently spoken to hospice and as next of kin and main point of care they indurectly told me hes outlived his prognosis. They said people get angry and even resentful when a person has outlived it. They confirmed all his tests show the cancer unfortunately is there and at the stage they've said.

I have been stressing terribly the past 7 months. So this is why im here as i am totally mixed up.

Im his only friend who is dealing with this as he has no relatives left just a few friends. He hasnt had and still dosnt have any symptoms just some aches and pains here amd there plus stomach pains on off for months Which i believe is down to another health issue hehas

I feel frustated sad and confused with how im feeling. He is still eating dressing himself etc being independent which im so happy about but on the other hand i dont know where i am with it all.

At an app His diabetic doctor back in february nervously laughed in shock and kept looking at my friend saying you look well. I couldnt understand it but now i know why.

Im just so on edge and my minds going crazy!

Thank you and best wishes to you all xxx

 

 

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    You obviously care a lot about your friend.

    I wonder how much it matters that he is in denial. Perhaps you could focus on helping him to get some value from his remaining days, rather than worrying about his diagnosis. You might find that the change of focus helps to reduce your terrible stress, which must have been taking quite a toll on you.

    I hope you find a way for this to become a less confused and less worrying situation.

  • Offline in reply to Roger_D

    Thank you for your reply 

    Yes i try to concentrte on days making them nice

    But each day i get anxiety but then i ring him or see him and he's fine

    I cant cope with ths for 7 months been on high alert its hard to control it

    But wonder if im making myself stressed for nothing

    So confused how this can be

  • Offline in reply to Bubbles5star

    The uncertainty must be making it very hard for you, Bubbles5star. The waiting and the uncertainty are often the worst parts.

    If he has noticed that you are stressed, and that you are suffering as a result, it might be making him uncomfortable too.

    Do you think it would be worth discussing your stress with him, and asking him for any ideas about how you could become more at ease with the situation?

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