Hi,

Really sorry to read this. I know only too well the feelings you are describing, as well as the need to try and make sense of it in posting on an internet forum. It is a truly terrible and terrifying experience and unfortunately nothing prepares you for it. 

I know how difficult it is to not feel overwhelmed or think the worst at times like these, and unfortunately there are no asnwers or any advice I can offer other than will make it easier, other than just ensuring that you are there to support your dad. In my mum's last months, I made it my mission to make sure she knew she was loved and appreciated, and that she'd led a good life. I tried to remember that even although this was hard for me to deal with, it was her that needed the support in that time. That helped give me a sense of purpose, even if it didn't make things necessarily easier. Again, though, I appreciate everybody deals with everything differently. There is no right or wrong in this. 

But please make sure you have support as well. Whether that's a partner, friends, or even the people on this forum, talking about it does help, even if it is - as you say - just so you can try and process the information.  

Look after yourself.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I am living the same horrendeous nightmare. My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 6 weeks ago and we have gone from the consultant saying how healthy he presented in that appointment to him now having no appetite & literally wasting away. They offered low dose chemo but he decided against it as thet said it would only extend his life slightly. We're literally living on a knife edge feeling helpless. I can not offer you any advice as such but just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Have you had any support from Mcmillan or anyone?

Take care 

Thank you so much for responding. When did your  mother pass away? I hope your pain is easing somewhat. You have given such good and inspiring advice, and this has helped me considerably.