Hi there ..

Cancer is the reason he's angry ... IT'S NOT an excuse to behave like that .. l think your being too kind .. which is lovely, but it's getting you nowhere ... it's a shame we have lockdown .. because I'd have said get out soon as he starts .. but bless ya, you can't... my heart goes out to you ..

As someone going through cancer , and at one time thought my number was up .. I'd want my family to not put up with it .. l know how scary it is .. I've got the tea shirt .. but honestly .. I'd tell him, if that's how he'd want to be remembered .. carry on .. if he wants to at least help each other through and be less angry .. to stop drinking ... and yes it's just as hard on you, as him .. who cares for the carer .. you deserve better then that ... drink never did solve anything, or make things look better .. 

But then I'm pretty tough .. I'd walk away , untill he stopped drinking .. could you go to someone's and stay .. or call McMillan, see if they can help ... and it's not fare or right for your daughter ... 

Keep talking ... reaching out ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie  

Please keep in touch ... keep talking ... the other lass on here is in the same boat ... please hold on .. always here to chat too ..  it's really not fare on your daughter ...

Reach out ... there is lightattheendofthetunel  let's change that saying and not hopeinhell  ... you can do this ... Chrissie x

[@Chriss]‍ I just want to say thank you for your reply.  I took on board what you said and I told my husband this morning that if he continues to drink, be angry and take his frustration out on me then I'm going to move out and stay somewhere else.  I feel really confident of getting my point across to him.  He has of course apologised.  Actions speak louder than words.  I have places I can go and stay.  I know he has cancer, I know he is on steroids and chemo and I now know that his behaviour is not acceptable. Thank you. 

Well see there is  lightattheendofthetunel   ; ))  

But you have to keep strong ... well on the outside anyway ... just keep that option ready ...  and be ready to stick to your guns ... if you think of him as a toddler having tantrums and throwing their rattle out the pram... just keep thinking what you'd say if he was ...be firm without raising your voice ... as little ones love a shouting match .. cool ... just keep cool ... you got this ...

Good luck, you've made a big first step ... always here if you want a chat ...

I'm really proud of you .. Chrissie xx