Hello, so sorry to hear of your awful news about your mum and uncle.

It must be heartbreaking, I cannot imagine how you feel to find out that on Monday you are pregnant with your second child.

May your mum live to see your little baby x

Take good care of yourself, maybe see your GP for preventative measures - for example, anxiety management like CBT or some other non drug techniqes.

Sorry you are also terrified of living without mum and bringing up children without her.

Your poor lovely mum, she sounds lovely.

I have no experience with grade 4 cancer but there is a grade 4 bowel cancer survivor on here who is cancer free, here is the link, hope it helps, sorry I am  limited with what I can do. The first post is the inspiring one www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../my-journey-with-bowel-cancer

Thanks so much for your reply.

I need to try and get hold of the gp Tuesday, everything is just made so difficult at the moment isn't it. 
 

xx

Sadly yes it has.

Please let us know how you get on on Tuesday with GP

Hi there, 

I am so sorry to hear about your awful news, It must be so difficult. Sadly, I lost my mum a while back now, I totally understand the fear of what life will be like without having your mum stand beside you. You're not alone! 

Your mum sounds wonderful. I pray for you and your families safety during such hard times. 
 

Always hear to chat xx 
 

Thank you purple92. Has it got any easier with time? X

I know a lot of people say 'time is a healer', I believe I learned to live without her. I think about my mum every day, i do think with time you start to think of more fonder memories. To begin with I could only think of the sad times, everything felt negative. I also sought counselling to help me through. (That helped) it was nice to talk to someone and not feel like you were being a burden, or worried about being judged for having certain thoughts or feelings. You will always think of the person, you will always miss them and you will always have fierce love for them. That will never go away! I still have moments where I have a little cry, when I wish I could speak to my mum. I think that's normal, it just shows the love I had and how much I miss her.  

Xxx 

I thought I would update this as I always found forum trails went cold and I didn't find out what I wanted to. 
My uncle did pass away a few weeks after I initially posted. He was moved to a hospice from the hospital and we never got to see him. His official cause of death was Covid contracted in hospital. He had suffered with dementia for years and after the year we have since had, I think it was a blessing he didn't go on longer. We would not have been able to visit him all this time in his care home and this would have been additional torture particularly for my Mum. 
About a week after my uncle died I did sadly lose the baby. It was, I feel, the stress of the situation and I could not control it. However the following month amazingly, I got pregnant again. I am now 34 weeks pregnant with my second little boy and have had a straightforward pregnancy so far. 
My mum has had no treatment on the NHS still but is still well in herself. We await scan results after her last scan 6 months ago showed she was stable. Today she had her covid vaccine. 
Thanks for all the replies I received initially. It was just what I needed at the time, as with everyone, I have been through many stages of processing the situation since. X

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I'm glad to see your mum is stable. Back last March I found out I was pregnant with a 3rd little surprise and I wondered then why it had happened because I've always lived with the belief that everything happens for a reason and I'd debated a third but had resolved myself that two was enough especially after having pre cancer cells removed from my cervix but there she was. Then 5 weeks after she was born my mother was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, after having a really good prognosis following a mastectomy and no further treatment needed only just 3 years ago. I'm incredibly sad that my daughter will probably never remember my mum and I'm equally sad and worried at how my other two who are extremely close to her will cope

I'm really sorry to hear this. Actaully we just had mum's scan results on Friday and 6 months on she is still stable. So that's almost a year with no growth at all. Her head and neck area where she had her primary cancer remains clear after initial surgery. I read and read and researched and there's a whole lot else out there outside of what the NHS can offer. And a whole lot of hope to be found. 

I know exactly how you feel about the children remembering your mum, I'm so close to mine and my little boy adores her but I think you have to take it one day at a time. As I said there is always plenty of hope. Has your mum been offered any treatment? Although we have had no NHS so called standard of care treatment, we have been doing lots of other things available to us. I've been very interested in the reaction of the oncologists when I've talked through the things mum is doing, they've all been interested and said keep doing what you're doing (I mean they are not offering her anything at the end of the day). 
I'm so glad your Mum has got to see your little girl too. Take plenty of videos just in case (covid is a nightmare for this)!!! 
 

Sending you lots of love. 

Thanks for updating your post Queenie82, it has been helpful for my situation.  I hope your mum continues to do well