What a very surreal time, its happening to everyone. No-one could have dreamed this up. We lost mum 10 years ago in June, dad was diagnosed with Oesphageal cancer 18 months ago. He lives alone. I've tried to encourage him to remain as independent as possible, knowing that the time will come that he will need help. That time has come now and covid 19 has made that even more scary and lonely for him and me. I'm constantly torn between my own family and responsibilities and taking care of dad. He understandably wants to stay in the house he has lived in for over 50 years. Although, he has known he has a tumour, until this past weekend, he had never come to terms with the realisation that he might not have long left. His body is now showing signs of difficulties and he was rushed to the hospital via ambulance on Saturday due to breathing difficulties. Turns out he has fluid on the lungs. I had to watch the lovely ambulance people take dad away and couldn't go with him. He was scared so was I. I couldn't visit either but I made sure he had his phone and ipad so I messaged and called and he knew he could do the same. I've never felt so far away from dad, on sunday he was told that the cancer is growing and although he was not given time, I think he knows now that this is it. I haven't seen dad cry much over the years but I've seen tears in his eyes everyday since. He's home now and I'm trying to give him time but also trying to make sure he knows he can ask for help at any time. Thankfully I don't stay too far away. My Uncle died last week and the funeral is Friday, I want to go to support my cousin but I am scared to, should I be going? Dad can't and I feel I have to. I am extremely close to my cousin and she thinks it will just be her, her husband and her daughter. Most of Uncles friends are over 70. I am fit and well and sticking to the advice to stay home unless necessary, washing hands, keeping 2m distance when out.
So sorry for the ramble.
Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to read about everything you're going through at the moment. This sounds like an incredibly tough time, made more difficult by what's going on with coronavirus.
Firstly it sounds like you're doing a good job of supporting your dad. The only thing to do in this situation is to take things one step at a time - as cliched as it sounds - and to follow all the advice and guidance both from your dad's medical team and also the guidance surrounding coronavirus.
Make sure you look after yourself as well - I hope you have others to support you or to speak to, and we are always here on this forum too. So no need to apologise for rambling - it's what we're here for. Sometimes just writing things down, and knowing others understand, can help.
In terms of the funeral, really that's a decision for you based on what you think is both safe and also best for you, your cousin, and your dad. I know funerals have also become more difficult due to the social distancing and everything else. Perhaps you could speak to your cousin about this.
Do also ensure you're following government guidance on shielding people defined as vulnerable, if this is appropriate.
As I say, I hope you find this forum a support to you.
