Grandad refusing help & not telling us the diagnosis

Hi,

My grandad lives by himself and recently got told by a consultant he has cancer. He has had many tests to discover where is cancer is but now is refusing to tell us and saying they do not know where it is. Im worried because hes refusing any help from his family, he has lost a massive amount of weight and has no care or team checking in on him. He has had phone calls but he just tells them he fine. He used to be active but now cant even carry things. Im worried he hasnt got long left but hes not getting the pain relief he needs... any advice would be so helpful! 

  • Hi there ..

    I'd deff phone his G P and tell them what you've said here ... or McMillan as in my opinion, its his choice about treatment, but he needs pain management and someone making sure he's got food ... 

    Good luck ... fingers crossed you can get him the help he needs ... Chrissie....

  • Thank you for your reply. Yes we have agreed with him about not having treatment as that is his decision. As our concern is pain relief, so yes i will have to ring the GP or Macmillan support team. We are taking food down daily, but we do not think he is eating it. It hard because he is very stubborn but rapidly losing weight and getting weaker.   

    thank you x

  • Hi there

    oh Lord, that sounds just like my bowel cancer stricken mum. She knows and we know she has this b****y disease but she's refusing to discuss it. Doing this is even more heartbreaking than talking about it. I think it's because she doesn't want to upset us but the doctor told us and we are already heartbroken. 
    Older folk can be a little stubborn. Mum is 72 so not that old but not so young. To young to go though :(

    I want mum to have treatment and hopefully an op even if it gives her another year with us in relative health  I'd be grateful. Cancer sucks. I've seen the same with mum. She was so strong now she can barley walk without getting fatigued. She has had pneumonia though so it could be that.

    My heart goes out to you and your grandad and all those with this insidious cruel illness. Keep safe and take care x

     

  • Oh im so sorry to hear that! Cancer sucks!! Yes they are soo stubborn. And we are struggling because we dont know where the cancer is, i know when we attended one appointment the consultant said its spread!! 

    Yes its hard because we want them around! Maybe take some leaflets around about chemo? And the pros and cons of treatment! I know my grandad would just point blank refuse. I hope you and your mum the best!!

    Some day i hope they find a cure to this horrendous disease! :( x