Struggling and scared of the thought of losing my dad

Hi everyone, I recently found out a week a go that my dad has kidney cancer and is due in for a operation within the next couple of weeks. Thankfully just now the tumour hasn't spread beyond the kidney but I'm so worried as I don't want the tumour to spread more and into other areas while he waits on his operation date. I know I have to be positive especially for dad but I'm utterly terrified I'm going to loose the most important man in my life and I can't be hopeful because the feeling of being hopeful might cause and turn into more pain in the long run . 
Any advice would be so appreciated. I feel utterly numb and my emotions are everywhere 

thank you x

 

  • Never lose hope a lot of people Dont get operation stay strong x

  • Hi Susanna - really sorry to hear this news.  Has he got a date for the operation?  It is good that the tumour hasn't spread and the tumour has been found.  It is hard not to worry.  I found out my hubby had bowel cancer, fortunately it didn't look like it has spread.  He had the operation to remove it.  I am grateful that it was found and that the surgeon has saved his life.  If he hadn't gone to hospital, he wouldn't have known.  It is hard not to worry and to try to be positive and strong when you feel like the world has crumbled around you.  I always think there is something to be grateful for, it has been discovered, it has not spread, there will be an action plan to help him.  I try to keep busy to take my mind off the worrying.  I am really routing for you and your dad and keep my fingers crossed.  xx 

  • Hey , my dads one of the lucky ones who can get a operation, just scared if I be to hopeful everything will get worse . Taking it each day at a time x

     

  • Hi Josies, thank you for your reply , my dad hasn't heard anything about his operation date yet ,it's just been over a week since he's been told and the doctor said he'd be in within 3 weeks. It just feels like such a long time and I'm scared that his cancer will spread.

    my dad is such a positive man and I know he's trying to stay strong for myself and my family but I can see the panic in his eyes.  I'm grateful that he has a healthy lifestyle and his weight hasn't changed which obviously a good sign that he is healthy enough to have the operation.

     

    how are you and your husband doing ? It must of been a struggle for you both ? Is he still having treatment? I'm routing for you guys too xx

  • Hi Susanna X 

    So sorry to Hear about your dad, I found out before Christmas that my mum had cancer for the 3rd time and we had to wait 3 weeks to get results from biopsys, I think the waiting bit is the hardest, you feel so helpless and the time you wait is the longest time ever X 

    Hope things go well for you and your dad

  • Hi Anne , I'm sorry to hear about your mum and the fact it's the 3rd time you all have to go through this ! How are you all doing ?

     

    totally agree the waiting is the hardest part 

    my dad has to see the surgeon on Wednesday to have a discussion then hopefully the operation soon after 

     

    xxx

  • Hi,

     

    Any more news on the operation date?  Its horrible waiting.  It makes the worry even harder.  That's good that your dad is positive and I know what you mean, I think my hubby is staying strong for me.  I feel like I am falling apart.  Trying to keep busy as if I am not, I think too much.  Yes, good that he has a healthy lifestyle and his weight hasn't changed.  My hubby lost 3 stone but he is slowly putting some kg back on. 

     

    We are doing ok thank you. Think I could cry at the drop of a hate but soldiering on.  Hubby is positive and practical but I think he is getting sick of sitting about and having nothing to focus on.  It's really strange as we feel like we don't know what is happening.  this is it so far:

    had operation, came out of hospital

    was told what they removed was cancer but it hadn't seemed to have spread, await date to start chemo

    had last minute PET scan (so I thought oh it must be bad to be going in so quick)

    still waiting for chemo date

    phone call to say blemish on liver so another PET scan (which we are still waiting for the date over a week later).  what is a blemish???  is it bad???  chemo wouldn't start until got results from that

    phone call yesterday to say he had to go in and have a camera up his bum.  he currently has a colostomy bag which they initially said they would look at reversing (this was when he first went into hospital).

    so its all a bit strange, information coming in from different places and we just don't know what to expect, what is going and why.    Thank you so much xxx

     

     

  • Hey josies ,

     

    sorry for the late reply it's been a long week 

    Dad saw the surgeon who will be operating on him on Wednesday and he'll have his operation no later than the 23rd March . Dad has stage 3 Kidney cancer however the surgeon said it hadn't spread from the kidney and he's getting keyhole surgery instead of open , which is a good thing but I've no clue really how serious stage 3 is and I don't want to keep asking dad questions.

     

    how are you and your hubby doing ? Gosh you've both have been through a hell of a lot and to be told different things each time , both of your heads must be all over the place. I hope you guys get word off the hospital soon and get the answers you need 

     

     xx