Hi

im sorry that you are going through this difficult time. 
 

I was diagnosed with stomach cancer in Aug 2018 aged 46 and before surgery I had 4x FLOT so I just wanted to hopefully reassure you that it's affects are awful but they are mostly temporary.  
 

for me my first cycle was probably one of the worst (I managed 2 after surgery which were harder physically but emotionally the end was in sight). My first, I felt so scared, not knowing what to expect and then being hit by a wall of side affects, I was rushed to hospital after collapsing, I developed an allergic reaction days later, I had a temperature, everything I was worried about seemed to happen and my mood was low, I spent 12 days out of the 14 day cycle in bed (that was mostly true of course very cycle). My next visit to the oncologist I sat and sobbed, I was scared and the enormity of what was happening to me was overwhelming. I was prescribed extra medications, (drops for mouth infection, difflam mouthwash for sore throat and ulcers, I used difflam toothpaste for dry mouth and brushed and rinsed throughout the day). 
 

with each cycle I woyld have my infusion and spend the rest of the day in bed, due to steroids my sleep was all over the place, I was unable to concentrate and did mostly feel like a zombie, I was weak and my 4th cycle the had to reduce because of the neuropathy (do tell them about his hands because they may need to look at dose because damage can become permanent). I have 2 young children and throughout my chemo I didn't spend much time them, I kept visitors to immediate family and sometimes would even go to my room when they came. 
 

All in all it was hard, and your husband is probably overwhelmed by it all along with suffering side affects. I can say that eating became much easier as it went on and after chemo I was able to eat a lot to gain weight for surgery but also about 3 weeks after chemo finished my strength started to return and I felt more myself, my last chemo was in April last year and that along with the surgery has left me weakened and I'm nowhere near the healthy gym going woman I was but I'm happy in myself, life is good and I enjoy every day. 
 

my husband was my main support, he was there when I needed him with hugs and comfort or watching a film in silence, he was there for every appointment, he acted as my advocate and dealt with all telephone calls and setting up appointments, arranging medications etc, he was there to make me laugh and he left me alone when I needed my own space. 
 

There is nothing you can really do to make it easier other than let him know you are there, maybe take charge of any responsibilities like liaising with nurses and doctors so he doesn't have to think about it, that to me was a huge help, I just didn't have the mental space to organise anything. Maybe talk about arranging a little break between chemo and surgery, something to look forward to, we had a weekend in the lakes. 
 

I do think that as patients we endure all the treatment and yes it's hard, but our loved ones really go through the mill watching us suffer and worrying about taking good care of us. Be kind to yourself you're doing your best, take a bit of time out for you even if it's just a bubble bath or a glass of wine. My heart goes out to you. 
x

Thank you so much for your supporting email.

At least I know now that what he is going through has happened to others. At first thought he had just given up..

But once again thank you so much for your supportive feedback.