Hi

I'm new here, so not sure of rules etc...

Just feeling a bit lost in all of this process.  My name is Jo, so there is my intro guys.

If you wish to read no further then I"m just saying hi....if you can help and have been through stage 3 with someone and beyond I would appreciate your wisdom.  

thank you x

My mum was 83 today and is stage 3 

She is in hospital yet again, and has been in and out on and off with various health issues since new years day this year.

I am finding it hard to pin the doctors down to get any proper info, and one minute I am told it's fluid on the lung, then it's her heart, or an infection, and latest thing is that she can't swallow properly.

All in all, she has had alot of health issues apart from her breast cancer but they have gotten worse since her radiotherapy.

She has recently been put in a room alone, and she seems oblivious to what is going on.  She is finding it hard to breath, and doctors say she has phenmonia.  Thing is, what if it is more than this, and her cancer has spread to her lungs?  I dont' live around the corner and am the only daughter, and I look after my elderley dad also who lives down the road.  

I am prepared to take every day off work to go see her if need be, but I feel like I dont' know where I stand.  They are treating it like she could be sent home, and yet I feel that it is more serious than this.  

So my question is, when is a good time to talk to my mum about her wishes without panicing her?  She may well be able to go home in a few days, but I have no idea of knowing if this is it or not.  My mind is asking why is she in a room on her own, and why every time she is sent home she gasps for breath?  can I do anything to help, should I talk to her?  

Very confused.

Hope someome who has been there, and done that might be able to relate or help, or whatever is useful.

thank you for your time, and blessings to those who are going through further challenges. x