Shock diagnosois. Now waiting

This week I watch the shock on my Dads face as he was given the news out of the blue that he had malignant tumours in his stomach. Something we werent expecting as his GP had told him on his last 2 visits, that after several tests the good news was, there was no sign of cancer. Both myself and sister had attended these visits so we were all reassured. As he was still loosing weight GPasked if he wanted to be refered to the hospital which he did.  An appointment came through for a endoscpy and after it was done we were told a nurse would discuss the results. I think Dad and I both expected something like Hiatus hernia or something like that,, so the Bad news came like a bolt from the blue.

Now I keep having flashbacks of his poor face as the nurse clearly and bluntly gave him the news and I feel so selfish because I cant stop crying while he is dealing with it like its not going to happen. I am on edge waiting for the phone call for the next scan and time seems to be standing still while we wait for the hospital to ring.

I have been a Carer all my life and have had clients with many diagnosis and helped with end of life care. I Have supported them and their families through the worst times of their lives. Now its our families turn to be in that position and I am falling apart. Probably because I know the journey ahead is going to be like, I dont think I can go to work and pretend everything is OK loooking after others, while my Dad is going through this.

  • Hi Suesuer

    Im so sorry to hear about your Dad, it's understandably very shocking and such an anxious time. 
     

    I was diagnosed with stomach cancer in Aug 18 at the age of 46, it was devastating, I'd been having endoscopes for 4 months which showed a hernia and a small ulcer, there weren't any visible tumours and it was the 3rd set of biopsies that revealed the truth, Inwas in the gym 5 days a week, very healthy and it was the last thing I ever expected. 
     

    still I was very lucky, it hadn't spread beyond the stomach but the diagnosis process took about 3 weeks to find out what was going on. I had an ultrasound endoscopy, CT scan and investigative laparoscopic surgery, I was then told that they were planning a curative pathway which involves 4x chemo FLOT then partial/total gastrectomy and 4x more chemo. The next few weeks were spent having fitness tests and a picc line fitted. Chemo started I. September, I lost my whole stomach in January 19, managed 2 more chemo and all treatment finished in March 19 and I'm currently cancer free, living without a stomach can be a challenge but it's manageable.  The Macmillan stomach cancer forum is a good place to get advice, there are patients and carers online who are really helpful and people on there who are doing well despite their initial prognosis being poor. The oesophageal patients association offer lots of advice on diet pre and post surgery and also do have local meetings for patients and families. 
     

    I feel for you being at the start of this journey, you have to take it one day at a time, your Dad will be bewildered by all the information, I would suggest if he's willing to have someone with I'm at each appointment to ask questions and make notes and maybe to be a point of contact for his nurses, my husband took full control of all my appointments, made all telephone calls and asked all the questions which allowed me to focus just on myself and not worry about retaining information. To be honest I just wanted to get my head down and get on with it. 
     

    sending you and your family my best wishes x

  • Thank you for the link to the oesophageal patients association Mikeswife.  It has lots of useful advice and has made me feel a bit more optimistic. We need to wait for the CAT scan results and to see what the MDT meeting decides on Tuesday before anything I know. But at least I will have a clue as to what they are talking about. God bless everyone who has to go through this aweful disease and thank you for taking the time to support others like myself and my Dad.