Devastated

Hi guys,

im not sure where I should even start. My mum has been unwell for a while now. Probably about 3 or 4 months. I've been taking her back and forth to the doctors to only be sent away with sleeping pills. She's been complaining of a bad chest and what she thinks/thought was TMJ. 
 

I took her for a 5th time two days ago and the doctor (who we'd never seen before) suspected that mum had pneumonia. Off to the hospital we went, and we were straight in to an EVG, X-ray, CT Scan, bloods and obvs. At the very need of the day, we were taken in to a room and told what I was not expecting. We were expecting pneumonia but we were informed that my mum has lung cancer. We were then sent home to await a phone call. 
 

2 days on (today) we received a phone call from the consultant who told mum that the tumour is in the middle of her chest and it's 6.5x5cm. We're in there again in a few days for an MRI and then again for her biopsy. They don't know if it's spread to the stomach, lung lining and head (which would explain TMJ). They've told us that if it's not spread, they'll treat with intent to cure. If it has spread, we all know the story of how it goes. They've given no indication of a timeframe or what stage it's at, and mum hasn't had any symptoms of coughing up blood, etc. She's slowly lost weight over the last few months and her appetite has dropped. 
 

I don't need to tell you how much this hurts right now. That's why we're all here. My dad died when I was 11, and my stepdad died when I was 20 (both pneumonia, and I'm now 30). I can't help thinking that I'm going to lose my poor, beautiful mum. 
 

im at my peak and I'm not coping with this at all. Grateful for any tips at a time like this? I'm an only child and all I have is my mum. 
 

thabjs for reading my rant and I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense

  • Hi, so very sorry to hear you and your Mum going through such a hard time. I can't offer any information because I have no experience. I'm waiting on test results which I get on the 23/1/20, however I've been waiting since October so it's been a long time. I've a shadow on my lungs. All I wanted to say was, that as a Mother of a 21 year old and 17 year old, my biggest fear is not being around for them. I'm sure your Mum is the same. All of her fears will surround you. Her biggest prayer will be about you. She must be very proud of you. Whatever happens you'll both draw strength from each other. Time is now. It's not in the future. You're both together today and that's what matters. one day at a time if you can. Sending you my thoughts and prayers for you and your lovely Mum. ️

  • I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.

    I'm no expert but I have recently had some bad news for a diagnosis of a type of leukaemia for my mum too. So I do understand your feelings right now. I completely went to pieces- and in all honestly- it didn't help at all.

    Advise I can give you?

    Take each day as it comes. Focus on the next step- what is it? Is it the MRI scan?

    Don't let your mind jump to eveyr worst case scenario. There's no point- assumign the worst doens't change the outcome and does nothing but make you miserable.

    Keep yourself busy, focus on other things. Anyway you can do- podcasts, exercises, friends, anything. You need to look after yourself so you can look after your mum

    Please feel free to DM me and I'll support you any way I can

  • Hiya, 

     

    thanks so much for your reply! You're right. Mum has pretty much just said everything that you have. Ok her priority and have to be able to look after her x

  • Hi Elsie, 

     

    yeah I've recently discovered some good podcasts and they've been really helpful! 
     

    she was in today for another CT scan and tomorrow we find out if it's spread or not. If it's not spread then it can be treated with intent to cure, so we're focusing on that! 

  • Hi, was thinking about you and your Mum. Just wondered if you had any news. Lots of love x

  • Hey, 

     

    we had a call from the consultant today: Cancer HASNT spread to head or stomach. It has unfortunately spread to the lining of the lung, which means that we’ll need to go for chemotherapy ASAP. This is brilliant news. It means that we know where it is and that it’s only in one area!:D

  • Exact same thing happened to my Mum. She had what she thought was a cough and after countless prescriptions for antibiotics they sent her for scans and the mass they found in her lungs always at least 3 years old. 

    I wish you and you mum strength xxx