Hi Plebbs,

We haven't  "spoken" directly before but I've read a lot of your posts and just wanted to say how sorry i was to hear about the loss of your husband especially at such a young age.

It's a silly question I know but how are you? It must be a very difficult time for you and the children compounded by lockdown.

Sometimes words seem inadequate but I just wanted to send you my best wishes and let  you know I'm thinking of you.

Hi, thanks for that, yes its pretty tough..the lockdown has been good in general as I havent felt like seeing people much, and they cant just land on the doorstep at the moment! Theres a lot of little things that get you  like seeing his glasses sitting there...or 'borrowing' his keys cause I can't find mine..Cleaning the bathroom for the first time and having to throw his toothbrush out. These are all like knives through your heart. But the hardest thing for me is daily walks along the river with my daughter and the dog (something Tom did with her but I have taken over),   everywhere we go we see Dads out  with their kids having fun and it hurts so bad to see that..riding their bikes together like he used to with our girls, giving piggyback rides, skylarking, it's very painful seeing that and seems so unfair me and my kids are missing out on him..my daughter finds that upsetting too...but we still have to walk the dog,  and she insists on going where her father took her..the kids seem pretty good all in all, I'm up and down, early days tho I guess. Sounds selfish but I am grateful at the moment the kids are too young to leave home as I need them at the moment to keep going!

Hi Den, 

Just read through your post, I too lost my husband to this dreadful disease on 15th June he was 57 its horrific. The house is so quiet without him has my son and daughter both have homes of their own now. 

I dread tea time onwards. Can keep myself busy in the day but evenings are terrible. I have been trying to find any groups that meet up to chat for people in same situation but there doesn't seem to be any. Im going back to work tommorow to try and get in a routine all though life will never be the same again. 

Hope you are ok. 

Debbie xx

Hi Debbie,

Sorry to hear your are going through it too, I have had some very bad day/weeks, but getting through it now (at the moment), its the days for me as well as nights, try to keep busy but cannot even tidy properly without moving his things so I tend to leave it! I am not ready to do that yet, we worked together so I had no work to go back to....I have now found work and I start tomorrow (I have worked there before so its not new to me). I am hoping this may put me in a routine and I might spring some enthusiamsum from somewhere!

I still think about him 24/7 and miss him so much, its my daughters 21st this month and we all have mixed feelings about it.

No this is the only group that I found but it has helped in a way knowing your not on your own.

Hope going back to work goes ok.

Denise xx

Hi Denise,

Wishing you luck for Tomorrow Denise.

It might do us both good has hard as it is. Just facing customer is daunting for me has they've been asking about me because I've not worked since March with Ian been ill i was furloughed. 

Its so hard trying to move on with out them, we was together 40 years its along time.

Your daughters special birthday as well to deal with, i feel for ya all. These are all hurdles we have to get through. 

Keep in touch. Take care.

Debbie xx

Hi guys, there's a widows group in the UK you can join online that also do meetups if you want to, for age 51 + its www.way-up.co.uk, or WAY for widows 50 and under. Its $25 to join, I havent as I'm not living in UK but I've been told it is good. There is also a Facebook group (international) called "widows and widowers seeking happiness" for support. Its important we dont feel alone,  there are others unfortunately suffering like us too and it helps to chat

xx

Thanks Plebbs will have alook at them. 

Debbie x

Hello All
 

Today my husband had his Oesophagus stretched and two stents put in. This is supposed to help him to eat and drink for a while. He has lost a lot of weight and is very weak so I do hope it works.

i don't know how to start a new post so have edited this one.

My husband died on 30 September, a week ago today and almost exactly a year from diagnosis.