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Struggling with anger of my mother

Maia2019
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Hi, 

 

My mam was told a month ago that she had 7 to 10 days to live, but she fights on and is still here. She has lung cancer and are unsure if it has spread due to her becoming to weak to get scans. There are days she doesn't wake up or speak and then she perks back up a day or so later. 

 

In the last few days she has become more confused and angry stating that I have disappointed her and she could tell I hated her and she didn't love me. Apart from this being heartbroken because I've been there every day for months and spend nights sleeping next to her bed but I wondering if there is any advice on how to try and soothe my mam when she feels like this?? 

 

Thanks! 

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    When people are in this state they have no idea what they are saying, so don't think it's directed at you.  Ring the Marie Curie nurses and ask for some support and advice.  You need some one to be with you.  Thinking about you,  Carol 

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Thank you for your reply.. I dont really know what stage we are at and I'm currently still working so not with her at all times. I do sleep on weekends, however, unable to during the week. 

     

    Do you think it could be close to time for myself to be staying every night? 

     

    Thanks 

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    Hi

    I feel for you and understand your pain. 

    But I can reassure you that your mum isn't herself right now due to her condition. She doesn't mean what she is saying to you. It is very hard for you to give her the care that you do and to have her respond as she is. 

    Just continue to do what you are doing, you know what you are doing to help her, and this will help you going forward. 

     

    I speak from experience after losing 3 close family members to cancer, and about to lose a 4th. Anger is part of the journey unfortunately as it is a reaction to the unfairness of the condition and lack of  control of the outcome. 

     

    Please continue to share your feelings and don't try to cope with this yourself. I send you hugs and my thoughts are with you. XX

  • Offline in reply to jjnn

    And in response to your question about the time being close, it is very hard to say, but trust your instincts. If your mum is becoming confused and angry I would say that things are moving along and perhaps she can sense that too. 

     

    I'm thinking of you, and always remember, it is the person who is present the most who bears the brunt of the anger and confusion. Reassure yourself that you are doing all you can. XX 

  • Offline in reply to jjnn

    Thank you for your reply. Its comforting to know I am doing what I am right. 

     

    The anger seems to be more when I go to leave and she wants to come with me. I find it so hard to actually leave her and this is making it worse, but I am still working and have a dog which I need to see too. 

     

    It's so hard to know what to do for the best x

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