Hi all, 

So this started two weeks before our wedding my beautiful amazing wife had just been told she had Thyroid Cancer. She cried for 24 hours, then just got on with it as if it never happened. (This has since been a cause of our now position we are in) 2016 we got married had a honeymoon and moved house to a new area. Yes a lot I know. My wife had two operations after our honeymoon and later in the year had Radio active Iodine tablet. My wife's hormones was all over the place they had them wrong so we went to see a private consultant which he knew what was happening. This was the start of the downfall. My wife kept pushing me further away and was concerntly on her phone. she couldn't be intimate with me at all. Started sheriving. I thought she was having an affair. I saw change. I got depression last year, which I was upset I allowed this to happen. I do think a lot was the fact my wife pushed me away and couldn't be intimate with me it never helped and probably pushed us even further away. So this year around about June my wife completely just said we was over she told all her family and friends. Even to the point I couldn't go to a family party. I was really upset. I turned 40 which I wasn't looking forward to due to the circumstances. We have always got loving cards and ment so much. So already not feeling great, as I was opening my card my wife told me she struggled to find one with no words in it. I was so hurt inside... Later in the year we made piece and she moved back in. We live together but in spearte rooms. So my wife is always saying we have no connection and when I say fine that's what you want, she comes back. Confused, well trying being me. I was going to away for Christmas but she didn't want me to go. So today we had Christmas at my in laws. If was nice. I got upset when I saw the connection between my in laws cuddling and holding hands like me and my beautiful wife did. I pray most nights to have my marriage back and share a bed like we did. Christmas has ended and we have come back, my wife has gone into the spare room and I have gone into ours. Not nice. My wife recently has had some scares but it's all fine. They think the hormone tablets don't work right so they maybe changing them, they are delaying because there more expensive. So this would kinda be a indication that it could be the tablets causing the issue. Well I hope so.. My wife is seeing a councillor there's a block that's stopping my wife from letting me in and even the councillor can't break it. All this pushing it to one side as caused my wife to become ill, just like the nurse said Truma experience. I love my amazing beautiful wife with all my heart and just want our marriage back. So anybody that's gone through this that can give me advice or tell me what I've done wrong I'm sure it would help?I married my Soulmate and feel like the Big C hasn't gone away it's still there. My wife is younger than me and yes sometimes I ask Why like we all do. 
Thanks for reading and I'm sorry it's long.