My dad diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic Cancer

Hi everyone, I found out about a month ago my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. I knew he was in pain and everything.. and his pain wasn't this bad, but it got worse slowly (this was before the diagnosis). The doctors kept thinking there was a problem with his heart area but when they did his ultra sound scan they found the tumor. But they didnt treat him straight away.. they made my dad writhe in pain for a good solid 44 days... and then they cancelled his biopsy due to the lack of beds! The rescheduled it the week after but his health was deteriorating quite quickly..even now so he is deteriorating after his first chemotherapy. I swear NHS don't give a single damn about patients near death. My dad is young too, he's in his late 40s, so fit and well. I'm just almost out of my teenage years. We are struggling quite a bit, especially my family. The most pressure is on me.. I've recently developed anxiety attacks due to the circumstances and things happening in my life. I was reading an article about pancreatic cancer at stage 4 and my heart dropped to see there was no cure and the average a patient lives is for mostly 6 months! This is worrying because I don't have enough money and strength to be able to handle this situation. My dad also wishes to leave the country to see his family but its unadvisable for him to travel when hes so weak.. but its his wish~ I just don't have money or even the confidence to apply for travel insurance and other needs to fulfill. My mother is broken and depressed as hell and everything is on my breaking shoulders. I'm all alone. Even my friend (who used to be close to me) ended up leaving me behind because she has her own life and I'm a bother to her apparently. Honestly I had such big plans next year for my self and studying, but I had to scrap them due to dads cancer and that he is only here for a little while. Honestly I tried to get in contact with a therapist to help me out before dad was diagnosed because i was depressed before too. But here the Medical system is so bloody slow. I still havent got a call back. Now im concerned about my little siblings and my mum too.. my youngest sibling is 5 years and bless her! My dad wont ever get to see her grow up or spend his time with her or bring her up, like he did with me :(. Is there any advice I can get ? Overall in general? Thank you so much~ and if youre a cancer patient I admire your courage that you are so strong to face helping out others ! Respect and dont lose the battle~

  • Hello Ashoo

    I'm so sorry to learn of your Dad's diagnosis. it sounds like it's been a very difficult few months for you all. 

    You mention that you had sought help for depression before your Dad became unwell. I would ceratinly suggest going back to your GP and letting them know what has happened recently and how you're feeling. 

    We have some information on our website about coping with cancer. Have a read through. It may help you to see that some of the thoughts and feelings you are dealing with at the moment are a natural part of the process. 

    Try not too look too far into the future and just take things a day at a time. I know this is easier said than done but it's easy to become overwhelmed by things if you look too far ahead. 

    I hope that there are other family members or friends that are able to offer you some practical support. If you think it would help to talk things through with one of our nurses then please do give them a call on 0808 800 4040. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator