My sister-in-law has just been diagnosed with terminal bowel/stomach cancer.  She is meeting with oncologist to discuss palliative chemo next week. My brother died 2 years ago and we are extremely close.  I am a do-er and I just dont know what to do.  I am in pieces but everyone always sees me as the strong one that holds everyone up and I want to be that for her.

What useful things can I do to help her?  She wont ask for help and wont let me do practical things like housework or shopping as I think shes still holding onto normality as much as she can.  

Im scared about the chemo and wish I knew what questions to ask at the meeting with the oncologist next week. Questions that she might not think to ask but later down the line will wish she had.  Can anybody help me?