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I’m saddened

northern232001
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My mom was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer in February of 2018. Here we are in December of 2019 and we are caring for her at home with the help of hospice. These past few days she has gotten progressively worse. I hate seeing her like this. It is breaking my heart and I’m so sad. I don’t really know why I decided to post as I really don’t know what I want to say. I love my mom so much and this is a tough time for me and my family. I just feel this really heavy weight in my chest and I’m more anxious than ever. I don’t want to lose mom, but I know I’m gonna have to let her go sooner rather than later and that kills me inside. Please keep me and my family in your thoughts. These are tough times. I hate cancer so much. I hate it! 

  • Hi northern232001,

    I'm so sorry to read about what you're going through at the moment. I can only imagine how tough this must be for you and those around you.

    How you're feeling is of course perfectly understandable. Do make sure you're opening up to family or friends if you can, or otherwise this forum is always a safe space for you to write your thoughts and feelings down - and it can be cathartic to do this. This is a very understanding community of people.

    I'm sure you're doing a great job with everything so keep going and make sure you look after yourself too.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi love, it's such a hard sad time watching your Mum deteriorate as you feel useless, sad, alone and already grieving for what is to come.  You will survive this, we all do but don't push yourself too hard or you will be ill as well and Mum would not want that to happen.  My prayers and thoughts are with you at this sad time.  Hugs your way,  Carol x 

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    Thoughts and prayers with you going through the pain myself and I just can't breathe with the heavy ness I feel stay strong your mum loves you and will know you did everything you could for herxx

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Ben

    Hi northern

    i am going through the exact same thing at the moment and it’s dreadful and I am really struggling to cope. I am sure you know exactly how I feel. I don’t have anything to say or any words or advice but just wanted to reach out to let you know that you are not alone. Xxx

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    My thoughts are with you.

    Be brave. Stay strong and look after yourself well, eat and sleep. You need to be strong to go through this. I am sending you my thoughts and a BIG HUG.

    XXXX

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