Hello  

im 43  ...  back in June i was in spain on holiday with my mam...  she just wasnt herself...  in the hospital i was told my mam has lymphomas in brain...  alnost 4 weeks in spanish hospital till fit to fly air ambulance to uk hospital.when in sept told 100% aggressive may not survive 1st chemo and with out chemo just a couple weeks to live..  and apart from 3 weeks in aug/sept she has and is still in hospital.   2nd chemo taken badly horrendous infections immune to antibiotics....  today she medical fit to come ... and then retur sunday for 5 days cjemo reduced doses.   so anxious its overriding feelings of happiness that she ut after spending months in a room alone infection control

My dad..  recently taken ill and like mam his cancer v rare... cholangiocarcinoma.. bile duct and poss pancreatic still waitibg.    even if dad has chemo it will only exend his life a little bit.   

Both my parents are dying im lost im angry im griefing im numb....  thers bo dummies guide on how to manage and work through feeling...  i dont want to feel this pain i wabt to enjoy the time i and we have with my parents.... how do others live knowing loss is coming....