Hi Keri

It was the same with my darling Dad at the end, no eating, no energy. So heartbreaking to watch. I found it very hard to give up wanting to help him, talk to the doctors again, even when he was really fading  

Me, my brother, my sister and Dad’s lover were all there when he slipped into a coma.

And that’s when I couldn’t visit anymore. I didn’t want to see him like that. I know it would have traumatised me forever, as if the previous 4 years of seeing him get ill with such a late diagnosis haven’t already traumatised me enough for a million lifetimes. It was so stressful.

But don’t feel bad if there’s a bit you know you can’t bear to see. My energy was all over the shop. I was really jumpy. Panicked. Not the kind of person who should be in a room where someone is trying to die peacefully.

I think we all know our limits, and the coma was mine. I sent the priest who Dad adored instead and my brother, sister and his lover stayed for the week while he was in a coma. Hats off to them for that. They were hopeless in the preceding years in helping Dad - but full credit to them, they got their *** together in the end. I guess what I’m trying to say is we all do what we can, we all do our best, in a situation which is just a nightmare.

Take care - when you do see him, let him know you love him. Dad and I did that a lot, me more than him, lol. It has given me a sense of closure - because I know he knows I love him and vice versa. That’s something ️