Going to work while a loved on is ill

I'm 27 and I'm very close to my Dad. He was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung cancer with brain mets at the beginning of September this year. It came as a massive shock. Two days before we were drinking together and dancing and then two days later, out of the blue he had a seizure which led to his diagnosis. I was shocked and devastated. I got a 2 week sick note off my doctor and then carried on as normal. Things weren't bad until two weeks when my dad got pneumonia and a blood clot on his lung and then suddenly he was a different person... No energy, no appetite, and for the first time he looked really sick. It was so hard to see him like that and I tried to go to work but I kept having panic attacks and I kept sneaking to the toilet to cry. Every time I left to go to work I had a panic attack thinking I was never going to see my Dad again and the thought of not being there when he died was unbearable. Anyway, a few days ago, a doctor came to our house to see my Dad and she said she thinks he only has a few days left, maybe a month at the most. I can't face being in work when he's this ill but I work in retail full time and I feel like I'm letting everyone down over Christmas. But at the same time I want to be there with my Dad all day, everyday. Is it bad if I take a month off? Or should I work part time? What would you do? Thanks for any advice

  • Hi Neworld

    Really sorry to read about your father. You come across as a loving and caring person. I can tell you what I would do - I would spend the remaining time with my loved one, making sure they are comfortable, building memories and offering love and support. Work would be way down in my list of priorities. I would get another sick note from the Dr to ensure at least I would get some money for being off sick. Take care x

     

  • When my  dad told me he was wasn't feeling well , went to see him next day (had to travel). I  didn't know he only had just over a week to live, neither did he, but I stayed and didn't go back to work.  I really wish I had been there even earlier to have longer with him, but I am so relieved I was actually there.   I wasn't  there for my mum ️ when she died and haven't got over it . Follow your heart on this one,  I am sure your colleagues will understand (not that they really matter in this)  that you don't get a second chance at this.