That’s understandable and writing that down here is good, well done, talking to others is important to help you deal with and understand what’s going on.

You are not alone, nor is your Dad, others share your experience but yours is personal to you and those close to you feeling the same way.

It’s an emotional roller coaster I know and at your age a tough one I’m sure, for your dad too at what I’m guessing is a young age than most diagnosed.

It might be helpful to get involved, find out information from those treating and helping your dad, so you can help too, watching out for each other across family and friends is important too, it’ll affect you all and you all need support from each other so try to be and encourage openness and talking, it’ll help.

I’ve lost best friends and family to it, I do have others including myself who are still here beyond expectancy so positive outlook and encouragement may help, it’s worth the effort.

Take care and research your new found enemy, it’ll help. Don’t isolate yourself and watch for others, you’ll be sharing feeling and emotions, fears and hopes, lean on each other.