A family member has just been diagnosed with secondary bc in the liver. Still awaiting full biopsy results and still going through more tests looking for any signs of the grade 0 bc from a few years ago.
They've suffered from poor mental health over the years, diagnosed as a neurotic depressive for many years, has problems with getting addicted to anything. It's always been papered over or passed off as not that bad, but over the years has progressed to severe anxiety, constant panic attacks at night, self medicating with co codamol, alcohol to name but a few.
Now with this diagnosis, it's devastated us all. On tramadol, and oramorph for the pain, and been given diazepam for the anxiety. Nobody on the medical side our outside of the family knows how bad the anxiety actually is. Hidden very well to the outside world. They can't be left alone, not even for 5 mins, they don't sleep, despite all the drugs. And the drinking continues. Friends pop in to cheer up, take out to pub. They tell you to lighten up, and try your best to explain that they can't continue to drink.
It's still another week or so till oncologist appointment. It's been two weeks now since diagnosis, and we are at our wits end already. We don't know where to turn or who to talk to. We know the drugs are needed and making the anxiety worse, along with already a high dependancy developing. Still self medicating on top with the codeine, which we thought was over years ago. It's so hard to see them continue to drink and feeling so powerless to help. Struggling to look after, taking it in turns with parent, in between work and trying to look after their children and keeping them in a routine.
We can't help, we can't say the right things to reassure. Told they're going to fight but there's no fight there in reality. We're all sinking fast and don't know how to cope. We don't know what will happen when treatment starts or how bad things are likely to get. Already struggling to maintain the 24 hour care cycles. We take in turns till we're driven out and the next takes over to give the other a break. There's only us, nobody else in family and we're already breaking.
