Hey everyone,
I decide to join when I came across this after typing endless questions online after a day visiting my nan and find it so nice to see that there's other people out there feeling the same way as me.
My nan got diagnosed with head and neck cancer 2 years ago and has had so many treatments which unfortunately hasn't worked. She has been becoming more and more ill for a long time and made the decision to go into a hospice for pain management and to come home as soon as she's better. My nan went in on Tuesday and since has just got worse and worse and is really near the end of her life. We're so close and I can't not go up everyday since to be with her. I'm worried because I've never lost anyone close to me before and I'm so anxious wondering when and how it will happen. I feel selfish for doing simple things for myself and can't sleep because I'm worried I'm going to get a phone call. I'm meant to be starting a new job on Wednesday and I feel like it's not the right thing to do at the moment and am not sure what to do. I get worried to talk to my family about it because I feel like I sort of hold everyone together because I don't feel like I should cry in front of them or my Nan.
xxx
