Hi o so sorry that you both had that news, hope the drinks help, it took almost 2 weeks on the steroids for my husband to start putting weight on, ct scan on 13th didn't think we would have the results until January 7th but had a letter to say we are seeing the consultant on the 24th December!! So just trying to take it one day at a time, and enjoy the days that hubby has a good day, as for Christmas we will have a little drink whatever the news.

Take care of yourself 

Hi all, been a rough week for my poor hubby Monday morning 9th at 6am hubby was on the floor  and I fail to get him up (phoned son)he managed to get him back into bed phone the immunotherapy nurse and she told me to phone 999 ambulance came in under 10 minutes, hubby taken to hospital it turns out he had septice, glad to say he is a lot better and came home today and had ct scan Friday as arranged, distric nurses starting Tuesday  to dress the big toe that has an infection,results of ct scan on the 24th so will know more then, so I am trying to takeone day at a time, hope all is going okish with you all

Hi there,

So sorry to hear about your husband yesterday and I do sincerely hope that he is feeling a little better today, it must have been a terrible shock for you and also your son.

My husband went to Macmillan on Thursday to see the Consultant and he's now decided that he should only take half of the steroid medication for a further month in the hope he manages to put some weight on. He has now lost over 2 and a half stones since diagnosis in August and I'm going out of my mind. Can't seem to get him to understand just how important it is to up his drinking habits (he's on protein drinks and shakes) and it feels as though I'm always getting at him to do that. The Consultant said that if he manages to put some of the weight back on he may consider him haing the chemotheraphy via his vein, but at the moment he's far too weak to undergo that. He did add though that it will make him feel very ill probably. At present he's sleeping a lot and feeling very fatigued. We're now unable to get around the supermarket as he tires so easily and just wants to come home again t rest.

Our planned Christmas holiday has now been cancelled due to the fact he's only able to eat selective foods and he obviously doesn't want any of our friends to see him the way he looks at present. As you will appreciate it's so difficult knowing what to do. Today I felt more alone than I've done throughout all of this because I don't know what to do,, and I know that isn't the case.

Hoping that your husband is feeling better than he did yesterday and all the very best of luck for his next appointment.

If anyone else is reading this post I do sincerely hope you're coping with this awful disease.

With much love

Hi my heart goes out to you and your husband I felt so alone when hubby couldn't eat trying different meals or just snacks anything small amounts often and trying to keep his fluids intake up, encourage him but he said I was nagging, I havent got any words that might work but the steroids did help then, but we are reducing them (again his stay in hospital increased them) I asked my hubby what did he like when he was refusing to eat, anything that he couldn't smell cooking, tinned custard with tinned  fruit and even tinned rice pudding  (something he would never eat) 

Today has been a good day as he realises how very lucky he was to get out of hospital on Sunday as they closed the hospital to all visitors  as there was a out break of stomach bug on the wards and on the ward he was on,please remember you are doing a great job caring for you husband and whatever you do for Christmas' make it easy for yourself and try and relax

Hi, hubby in hospital again 22nd December, high temperature pain under right ribs, been treated for infection and clot in lung unable to do another ct scan as his remaining kidney isnt working properly, hospital has been closed to visitors because of the stomach bug confirmation, so unable to see him and as there no signal for the mobile phone unable to talk to him, it suddenly hit me today how much i miss him, and how the heck am i going to live without him I know no one can help me, and I must stay positive but the ct scan result was given to us yesterday when he was admitted the spots in the lung have grown and the one where the kidney was sitting has stayed the same so thats a positive but sitting here alone i dont need to hide how i feel but it horrible, sorry to moan and i just wish this holiday time over and hubby home. Sorry i know there are many out there that are coping with a lot worse and still managing to put a smile on their face tonight i am drained, sad, lonely and frightened its,like having a glimpse of what,the future holds

Hi there,

Sorry I've been away for so long, my wonderful brave husband was taken into hospital with breathing difficulties and what appeared to be kidney pain. He very sadly lost his battle with cancer on 10 January 2020 which was only diagnosed in mid August 2019.

I feel so utterly devastated as i just can't contemplate my life without him by my side, it's truly unbelievable. His funeral date is 05 February and on the 08th we would have been married for 45 years. It's all like a very bad dream, and any day I'm hoping that I wake up and he's still here.

I truly hope that your husband is coping with this very harsh cruel illness and is still having good days.

Hope to speak later if I ever get to feel any better. I'm just so devastated at the moment.

Jay-S

Hi there gutted,

I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to your kind email until now.

My wonderful husband of 45 years passed away on 10 January and I just haven't been able to talk to anyone about it yet as I'm just so lost without him by my side.

He was re-admitted into hospital on 06 January and even then I still couldn't believe that he wasn't expected to make it. I can't begin to tell you how I felt and how it's affected me. I stayed with him for two nights by his side, but he was only semi-conscious at the time. It's been traumatising me as he was trying his best to say something to me and I just wasn't able to understand him. The morning that he died there were unfortunately relief staff on in the ward and they were absolutely abysmal. Nobody came into his room to see if he was comfortable and I had briefly put my head onto the pillow of the camp bed I was sitting on and he passed away. The first thing I knew was the words of one of the elusive nurses saying 'There's no pulse, he's gone'. As you can imagine I was absolutely hysterical and nobody even so much as offered me a drinki, I was left alone until my relatives arrived some 40 minutes later. I cannot get it out of my mind and it's traumatising me. I honestly don't know how I've got this far without him because I'm not well myself, but when I think about it the fact I have this complaint going on it'is making me more determined to fight for him. I miss him so much and I'm absolutely lost without him.

I do sincerely hope that your husband is still managing to fight his cancer and I have been thinking about you both.

Jay-S

Please accept my apologies once again for the long delay in responding to your email.

Hi Jay-S, I can't find the words to bring you comfort in your terrible loss, have started replying several times, but end up deleting it, people who haven't been through this horrible journey have no idea the pain,heart break,and soul destroying from the time your loved one gets given the result that there is no cure.

What I find even worse is your experience at the time of your beloved passing, nurses are suppose to care for the patient and their loved ones,to find out the way you did is soul destroying.

My hubby is keeping going,immunotherapy didnt work ct scan result next tuesday not expecting anything positive but hoping it has slowed the cancer down, I will write again but please remember you did a great job looking after your husband now you have to look after yourself.

I hope you don't mind me getting in touch but my amazingly brave and wonderful husband is going through the same thing as your partner. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer in February 2017 had his left kidney removed, 3 months later we were told it had spread to his lungs and liver. The shock is unbelievable he started chemo then last summer we found out it had stopped working. He's now on immunotherapy, he had his 5th treatment today. Like you we live day by day good ones and bad ones  he's so brave and never moans. We've never been told any prognosis what stage he's at or what might happen. I think we probably prefer it like that but sometimes I feel I'd like to know. It really takes over your life appointments, blood tests and waiting for those dreaded scan results. Look after yourself.