Hi Peteschick

I wanted to stop by and welcome you to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. 

I also wanted to try and connect you up with some of the members here on the forum who will be able to share words of support and advice and hopefully give you some reassurance at this difficult time. 

We've quite a number of members here who've had various oral cancers. [@RadioactiveRaz]‍ has written a blog about her journey through oral cancer which I know a number of people have found helpful. You can find the link in this post. 

This post here has lots of members who've shared their stories and hints/tips/advice. I'm sure that if you post a reply that you'll get some responses. There's also this post here started by [@Anchor1707]‍ which may be of interest. 

We've also got a lovely team of nurses here at Cancer Reesarch UK that you're very welcome to call and talk to. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

I really hope that you don't have to wait too long for the results now. We know it's difficult not to worry but try not to think the worst. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on. I'm sure that the community here will offer you lots of support for what lies ahead. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

I'm so sorry for your husbands diagnosis, it's such a scary time , my husband has today been diagnosed with oral cancer, we have 4 children , we meet his Macmillan nurse tmrw and we are waiting for a mri scan, we go to mdt meeting next week to decide his treatment, but it looks like its spread to jaw and maybe throat , it's such a horrible time right now , here if you want to message me xx

Hiya, Hank's for such a prompt replay, Hubby had his surgery two weeks ago, he had a partial re,oval of his palate, a graft from his wrist plus an artery were transplanted into his palate and a graft from his tummy was used to fill the space on his wrist, his lymph nodes on one side were also removed as well as teeth and partial jawbone n me side, initially we were told the removal of tissue bone lymph nodes etc were precautionary but looking at paperwork we brought home says invasive tumour, now I am very scared about what was actually growing on his palate, we return to the hospital on the 8th of October to see the consultant, what a scary time for me, Hubby won't discuss worries, he says don't think too far ahead and worry about stuff that may not happen, me? I can't sleep worrying that he has a serious problem not a minor one,

Thankyou for your replay, hubby does not want to talk about worries so I am left feeling very isolated, I know he has a right to deal with the situation n the way he wishes to but I want to know everything, can I ask to speak to the oncologist on my own after our consultation, I am afraid he will tell me something scary and I will have no one to discuss this with, hubby has always been my rock and we have shared everything in the past but now he rejects my worries, it's a lonely place I live n !

My husband is exactly the same he wont discuss nothing , theyv found lumps in each lymph node in his neck today , he said he *** know what they are and dont want to know , he just wants the operation to get it over with , he says no point worrying cause what will happen will happen anyway, but I'm broken xx

Hi there,

Would probably suggest that you jot down some questions you have and ask away at consultant meeting with hubby as they are usually pretty open and honest over treatment plans etc.

We all have different ways of dealing with things and perhaps is trying his best not to over worry you and its  also not unusual from stories on thread for partners to not want to know too much or discuss.

I understand your angst and the waiting for results is one of the most worrying periods for people.
8th October not too far away and you also have the support team who should normally be available to answer questions etc after consultant meeting.
Its a shame as I would gently suggest that you are in this together and its difficult being a partner in this but play a vital role for support and practical help during all this.

I hope all goes well on the 8th.

regards

ian