Hello Courtney - this is such awful news for your mum & your family & obviously it is devastating for you. Cancer is a cruel disease & doesn't discriminate between people. There's nothing you can change about this sweetie & that's part of where your anger comes from. Please don't focus on that part of things - you can only focus on the things you can change & one of the most important things for you to do is to decide that you are going to make the very most of every day with your mum & make things as easy for her as you possibly can. I can absolutely promise you, that later, you will be glad beyond words that you did what I suggest.

It's a very difficult thing to do I know, especially because you are so young & it's such early days for you to fully grasp what it all means. Do your very best sweetie to not think too far ahead - take each day one by one & talk to your mum when you can about what it is she wants & how you can help her.

I'm glad you've got closer to your siblings because you'll be able to help each other. I don't know why you don't speak to your dad but might it be worth trying to change that at some point? Only you can answer that but just keep the possibility in mind.

Nothing anyine can say will take your pain away but please know that people do understand & have been through the same thing. I'm sure other people will reply to your post & will do their best to help you. Keep posting & talking here because it will help you I'm sure,

You obviously love your mum very much & I know that means you will do all that you can to help her. At the same time take care of yourself too & somehow you will get through it. Love to you.xxx

Hi, I'm the same age and I lost my mum just over a year ago. She was sick for 5 years, with breast, bowel and metastatic abdominal cancer. 

Your struggle really hit home for me because it's a lot of what I was worried about and still am to be honest. The though of my mum never meeting my kids, never being at my graduation and missing out on so many important life events is something I still can't wrap my head around a year on. 

I also had the same thought, what's the point of going on and living my life when such an amazing person like my mum doesn't get to live the rest of hers. It's not even remotely fair, and that's the worst part about cancer, it takes away people who really don't deserve it. What has helped me is just thinking what my mum would have said, and that if I decided to no longer go on, how much it would have hurt her and all the people I love around me and the people who love me. This will also not be particularly comforting as bloody well everyone says it, but it does get easier. The countdown is a horrific part, and it's going to be really tough. Just make sure your mum knows just how much you love her and spend as much time as you can laughing, joking and crying with her. 

It's a really really rubbish thing to go through, as it is just so unfair. The feeling of helplessness was something I really struggled with but towards the end of my mum's life I realised (when she flat out told me) that my happiness and knowing I'd be okay after she was gone gave her more peace of mind than anything else could. Just make sure you make this time count with her, and make some amazing memories that you can look back on in a years time'sand hopefully laugh or smile about.