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Mothers Breast cancer Diagnosis First week of Chemo

Ashnaomi
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Hello, 

 

My mother was diagnoised with breast cancer a few months ago and has had her op to remove the tumor. they have also told her the cells have spread to her Lymphnodes and shes starting her first dose of Cheotheraphy today.

 

Im no coping at all with how to deal with this, Im overly sensative and feel very alone. Her friend is going with her today as i dont feel like she wants me there during it all. I feel like i do not want to come home from work today and face her and seeing her ill. I dont know what to do.

 

I feel like i am being selfish because im not the one with the diagnosis but i really do not know what to do. 

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    Hi there ..

    So sorry you've got to go through this worry ... but as someone who's been there, we still want to protect our children ... and she probly knows your not dealing with this very well .. so as I know myself, we need someone who can "keep it together" when we go through treatments etc .. l know it's harder to go through, if wer worrying about those with us ..  

    As hard as it is, this is your mum's journey... she has to do things her way ... although I can understand how worried you are .. but if you can get your thoughts together .. she may well tell you more .. 

    I had a grade three breast cancer and masectomy in 2017 ... and there's lots of breast lasses on here .. so try give your mum space .. but tell her you'll be there if she needs you ... Chrissie xx 

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    I am trying my best, I keep myself together infront of her and anyone but the second im alone and on my own im just a bloody mess. 

     

    She will not speak to me about it, shes keeping very positive and wont talk about whats going on thats her way of dealing with it. shes painted everything in the house grey to keep herself busy and distracted which i think its amazing. 

     

    People keep telling me the same thing but that will not stop my anxiety and worry. 

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Ashnaomi

    Hi ashnaomi

    Talk to your mum!

    She knows how sensitive you are and probably doesn’t want to add to your worries! 

    To be honest, there are some people in my family that I really wouldn’t want to come with me for treatment! It’s hours in a chair connected to a drip trying to make conversation! 

    Tell her how you feel and let her know how you want to be there for her! The side effects are worse than the treatment! Be there for that! She may feel tired a lot, she may be sick (or constantly hungry). She may ache all over! We get ‘chemo brain’! Hair loss etc

    Check if you have a “Maggies” locally and offer to take her there! They support people and run groups and classes (sign her up for look good feel better! It’s brilliant)

    If she doesn’t want to talk about it, fine! Just do things together! Walk, eat out, watch a box set together!

    Its the little things that mean so much 

    xxxxx

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