I am so sorry about your Dad, I have just seen this post and the other one you posted. my heart goes out to you. I have just found out that my Mum is terminal and my Dad has cancer too, what a horrible disease this is. It is normal apparently to have trouble sleeping and eating too I guess. It is normal to feel frightened and Anxious about the future especially one that does not include our loved ones. I am worried about your post as it is not normal to feel suicidal, please please speak to someone about this, a friend, family, the Samaritans or your GP. I am sure that there are other people on this forum who have experienced these thoughts and sought help, there is help out there, please give it a chance.

Please stay strong, seek help and know that you are not alone in this horrible situation x

Liam, PLEASE PLEASE seek help for how you are feeling, life is too precious to throw it away, there is always an alternative. I do have some insight on how you are feeling as my mum has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and she is my world.  My cousin committed suicide a couple of months ago because he lost his mum to cancer. Seeing the aftermath of that on his family and those he loved has been devastating.  I know it seems impossible now but with the right support you can find some normality again eventually. 

I am happy to talk to you anytime

Cheers guys.. I never talk i bottle up instead till my head is in a mess and pops...ill never seek help anywhere.. This is good help ..i felt a massive weight lifted the other day by sort of tellin people my feeling. So thanks guys

Hiya, then come here, every time you need to shout, cry, scream, shout or just talk. Write it down and get it out. As long as it comes out. xx Anytime 

Liam, none of us are experts in dealing with the death of our loved ones, we can only do our best, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Just know that we are all in similar situations and are doing our damnest for the people we love. We are here for advice and support just as you are. If you are able to release some pressure here then use it, as liliC says I am happy to talk anytime x